A Primary School Teacher explains to her class that she is a Newcastle United fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Newcastle United fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a Newcastle United fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Newcastle United fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Sunderland fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Sunderland fan?' 'Because my mum is a Sunderland fan, and my dad is a Sunderland fan, so I'm a Sunderland fan too!' 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Sunderland fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time⦠What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?' 'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Newcastle United fan.
A multi-billionaire businessman has triplet boys and its theri birthday coming up so he asks each one what they would like for a present. The first boy says "I would like a train set please daddy" so his dad goes out and buys him the london underground The second boy says "I want a scalextric set please dad" so his dad goes and buys him Silverston race track The third boy looks at his dad and says " I would really like a cowboy outfit please" so the dad says to him if you want a cowboy outfit son, you will get a cowboy outfit. So he goes out and buys him Newcastle United
Since appointing Steve McClaren as their new manager, Nottingham Forest have broken a record. They are the only club to have been managed by the greatest manager England never had, and the worst manager England ever had I fear Alan may have applied for the wrong job when he saw "Shearer Wanted - South Wales"
Ryan Giggs and Alan Shearer, two of the players at the centre of the super-injuction rumours, have both had their houses burgled at the weekend. Giggs has reported that eight Premier League medals, three FA Cup winners medals, two Champions League medals and a League Cup winners medal are missing. Shearer has had his bike nicked.
Daily Mail- England strikers Wayne Rooney and Andy Carroll have been 'treating' holidaymakers in Barbados to a few Beatles tunes. The duo belted out some of the band's classics as they recharged their batteries on the Caribbean island. What did those poor locals and holiday makers do to deserve Shrek and Donkey singing to them
With all Barton's troubles of awhile back, when he got fitted up. He did give a surprising response those bad times. "The first day's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in, hand you your uniform and force you to pose for the photographer while loads of fat, tattooed, skinheads shout abuse at you. That's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it. That's when it hits home. That's when you realise you've signed for Newcastle."
Help wanted! Help me out here guys I have just bought FIFA for the PS3, with the Shearer addon pack. Is there a special button combination? I can't for the life of me work out how to get Shearer and Barton to kick people in the head!
old 1 i know but still a good one in the days when the barcodes were changing managers like ties ( still topical) Mike Ashley is walking through the Grainger market when he passes an old girl loaded down with shopping "can you manage luv?" he asks old girl answers " you can f%^k off I don't want the job either!"
2 Newcastle supporters singing "Newcastle, Newcastle" when one says to the other "what's the second verse?" The second replies "I don't know"
a young kid gets £10 for his birthday and goes off to the sports shop Says " how much for a prem league ball?" Owner tells him £20 "if i can tell blindfold who's ball it is, can I have it for £10" owner agrees and kid is blindfolded, gets ball and listens to it, feels it etc, after a minute he says " i can hear a cock crow it must be a spuds ball" owner is shocked and says if he can do it again he can have ball free kid gets next ball and listens/ feels for a minute, says " i can hear a cannon, must be a gooners ball" Owner is amazed and tells him if he can get next 1 right he can have all balls in prem. league kid gets next ball, listens for 1 second and says "Newcastle ball" Owner is stunned and asks " could you hear the sound of the magpie calling" Kid says no.... "this one's going down!!"
Alan Pardew is walking through the Bigg Market when a supporter stops him and says that's a nice radio you have. Alan Pardew says I got it for the team. The supporter replies you got a good swap
