JFK comedy genius

First up, I'm not in any way endorsing or excusing Joe Kinnear and the embarrassment he causes this great club.

But... For whatever reason (I forget) I've just been on his Wikipedia entry and it HAS to be the most genuinely hilarious Wikipedia entry in world football.
Because of the way it's written it's actually far funnier than the real incidents ever were, well worth a look for a laugh.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Kinnear

I'm obviously referring, sadly, almost exclusively to the Newcastle United bit but it's horribly wonderful stuff.

You just can't beat the way it kicks off with the "On 2 October 2008, after a controversial start to his tenure at Newcastle..." line and the quotation at the end.
The 'Insomnia' stuff is a satirical peak but it really reaches a beautiful crescendo with the '2013 return to Newcastle' paragraph.

I say we at least start getting some entertainment value from our Director of Football in the absence of any real work.
Come on Mike, lift the ban on the local press and Chronicle etc and just give them access solely to Joe!

You shouldn't silence that kind of talent...

 

There seems to have been a few nefarious contributors to JK's entry over the years.
You couldn't make it up, so its obviously slander and lies all of it.

It needs a literary genius to give it a once over and change it so we can read about the real Joe and not this media generated fabrication.

 

The belltop still hasn't justified his existence on our payroll

 

How about inviting him to update it himself, give his version of events the way he sees them? Now that would be funny.

He's surely got the time and I reckon he probably sits in his office at Benton (the broom cupboard) Googling himself all day anyway. That's not a euphemism btw but it works.
Saying that, I expect with Joe stuck in 1995 he's probably an AltaVista user...

 

Do you think he's really on the payroll?

I reckon he probably keeps asking Mike about that, but the fat controller just keeps stalling – each time his national security number is a digit out.

He's like that guy Melvin from the movie Office Space, mumbling to himself about signing John Hartson while sitting in the training ground basement in pitch dark cos everyone's gone home.

In all seriousness I wonder whether there was a technicality with his manager contract whereby Mike couldn't sack him for illness and finding him another job was always the compromise.

Send him out to Afghanistan to entertain the troops instead... Just as we withdraw our military presence.

 

Invite him to come onto the forum for a questions and answers evening.

Just tell him there's plenty of free

 

And rep.

 

Rep costs blood, sweat and tears.

 

Ok ok so for the sake of this thread, pretend I am he – tempted into your beer drenched honeypot (urgh) aka 'The Joek–inn–ear Q&A Lock-in'

"What would your questions be (you ****'s), what have you got to say for yourselves???

And if I have to go over the story of how I obtained Toni Sarsparilla's work permit again I'm off..."

Oh god, what have I done?

 

You think joe kinnear can type?

 

Hhhmmmm, I see there could be problems.

 

Well if we get in a gorilla whisperer for the occasion we might be able to fathom his answers

 

Even Cheetah couldn't do that.

 

Fixed

 

You, JFK and a pillow? You'll start rumours JPF.