Nice sentiment, but in the interests of full disclosure you should probably know I look a little like Napoleon Dynamite.
I'll be the Napoleon Bonaparte to your Napoleon Dynamite. Stereo and Tarquin can be our little Pedros, Hispanic **** slaves who will indulge our every glorious whim.
Or his cock. He'd rape the greasy little dagos to death and then score a double hat-trick with his mighty helmet.