What do you give a sick lemon? Lemonade What do you give a sick parrot? Tweetment What do you give a sick dog? A lethal injection
Paddy goes into a builders yard and orders 20,000 bricks. "May I ask what you're building?" Asks the man behind the counter. "Yes," replies Paddy,"it's going to be a barbecue." "That's a lot of bricks for one barbecue," says the man. Paddy says,"Not really,I live on the 18th floor!"
40 Scousers arrive at the Pearly Gates.St. Peter consults with God and says to them,"We've only got room for 12 of you so you'll have to decide amongst yourselves who comes into the house of the lord." 5 minutes later St.Peter says to God,"I don't believe it,they've gone!" God says,"What,all 40 of them?" St.Peter says,"No,the ****ing gates!"
i went a wife swap party the other night and started to take this bird from behind ,while this bloke was getting a blow job.when he looked up it was my dad?**** you you dirty basterd ,how can you cheat on my mum after all these years.im not it is your mum......****
David Moyes will be a great manager for our club...................................... the old ones are the best
Michael Barrymore is said to be delighted that Tom Daly has come out and admitted he's gay. He's made up he's found someone who likes it up the arse and can swim as well
Paddy and Murphy were walking past the forestry departments office when they read a sign that said "tree men wanted", paddy turns to Murphy and say`s " Jeasus if Sean was with us we could have applied for that job".