Commemorative Hypothetical Nonsense Thread - The High Addition

I love this thread TJPF

Could you do us one on the Posh board please

 

Ahem, illegal tapping up of another teams posters is a fine of 5,000 rep points.

 

Murdering a serial killer and getting away with it is easy: sure.

if you could murder a person who had not done anything wrong so far but had a 95% chance of becoming a serial killer, would you ? Escaping prosecution yourself again is ensured.

 

I suppose an obvious choice would be stopping Hitler

But I'll go for a slightly different one - Trotsky winning the race to be Lenin's heir over Stalin. Undoubtedly Trotsky was the better politician, not so liable to murder millions of people and also would have prevented the rise of Nazism in Germany

If you could speak any other language (as well as what you currently speak) what would it be???

 

Not for me, I'd need 100% certainty that they will kill. Should always look for the good in someone even if it's as little as 5%.

Although if there was a 95% chance that they'd murder a friend or family member then that would really test the above thought process and I'd to play the odds and kill I guess.

Would you rather lose an arm or be death?

 

I would probably go back and put a bloody condom on before hooking up with Tash's mum

In all seriousness, I'd go back and pummel the guy who abused my friend as a kid. And yes, in relation to a later question, I'd willingly attempt to kill a serial killer. #CallMeDexter

Which would you rather were real, unicorns or mermaids?

 

As death you would probably end up clinically depressed, whereas I once saw a one-armed guy dressed as Pikachu in the Toon, and his line was that he was in desperate need of a Pokecentre... Having two arms is of no comedic value whatsoever...
Plus, the only people you're hooking up with, if your Death, will be cold and stiff... A one armed night alone is probably slightly better than necrophilia...

 

Following on, would you rather have one arm or one leg??? (missing that is)

 

I wouldn't want one leg, because you'd need to mangle the other one as well so you could compete at Paralympic level... The one legged chaps are nowhere in those races.

Looking to the future, a robotic arm would be much more useful as well, because the leg would need to balance what your functioning leg could do, otherwise you'd be going round in circles. A robotic arm could give you hulk strength! So I'd stick with having one arm I think.

Would you rather be Captain America or Spiderman?

 

Spiderman.

Captain America is perhaps the most boring superhero ever while Spiderman has an interesting collection of powers and a sporadically active sex life with some seriously hot babes.

Which would you rather be able to do: read the minds of the people around you or communicate telepathically with anyone in the world ?

 

Read the minds of the people around me. I'd then demand to be called up to the England squad for every major tournament and placed in goal for the penalty shoot outs.

Also you'd be able to tell if you're wasting your time hitting on certain women etc. It's a great power. Would be decent to have both though like Proffessor Xavier.

Speaking of X-Men, if tomorrow you could evolve in to a mutant but not know what your appearance or power would be would you take the chance and evolve or remain as you are?

Personally I'd take the chance.

 

I'd remain the same. I've known my whole life I'm not destined to achieve anything particularly great, but I can be great as who I am. Doing nice things for people around me isn't going to change the world, but it's a choice not a responsibility. If I was an amazing mutant, the president (bad things only happen in America) would be harassing me everyday...

If you had to take part in any war in history, which one would you pick?

 

I think it would have to be the Cod War between Iceland and the UK. Simple reason being I would be least likely to die in that one. Not really a war I know so a bit of a cop out answer.

If you could have any currently serving manager i.e. no one who is retired or dead, manage Newcastle who would it be and why?

 

Christian Gourcuff. Tactically astute, French, plays sexy football and he could probably get his son as a Cabaye replacement

 

If you had to pick one player in the world to improve our team, who would you pick?

 

Go for Ronaldo - - we're not sophisticated enough to get the best from Messi.

If you could choose any age to simply be for the remainder of your life, what would you pick ?

 

18, old enough to know what you want to do, and young enough to be able to do it.

 

Question please ?

(PS: think you're at least a decade too young)

 

How would you re-name fisherman's friends to save me the hassle of continually getting arrested everytime I get caught sucking one.

 

The only fishermen I knew were called Tom and Harry, they were nearly always talking about the one that got away.

I guess you could say we were friends but I wouldn't change my name so that you could suck me.

If you're continually getting arrested, you must be a dirty old man.