Okay, here's the place where you can get it all off your chest, those things about football that have rankled you for years and, very often, almost force you into the fetal position and to scream until your lungs burst. We all have them, those little bug-bears that, to others - even fellow fans - seem trivial, but which make your blood boil. I'll go first. 1. Footballers and managers who say "obviously" in almost every sentence. Fat Frank and John "Iron My Hood, Bitch!" Terry are among the worst offenders. "Obviously, I scored the goal, today..." No! If it was obvious you would not have to tell us about it, idiot! 2. Commentators who use the word "brace" instead of "two" because they think it makes them look clever. 3. Commentators who say "parity has been restored" instead of "...and they've equalised" because they think it makes them look clever. 4. Richard Keyes. 5. Deluded Mousers. 6. Fans of crap teams who sing that (stupid) song that contains the following lyrics: "we're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen." Hint: no, you're not even close. Substitute the word "best" for "worst" and your pathetic brag might find some solid ground to stand on. 7. Adrian Durham. There are others, but these are the things that haunt me most often.
1. Sitting down. 2. Not every Spurs game is on the TV. I have a small amount of money. All the governing bodies like money and yet they don't want mine. 3. People swearing in the stands near the family sections. I don't take the young'uns with me for this reason alone. The hardcore fans are behind the goal. Buy your cheaper ticket for that area if you want to swear and be abusive. 4. That twat down the pub who thinks he's my mate because I sometimes wear a Spurs shirt. You're not my mate. You're pissed, and the words coming out your mouth are unintelligable bullshit, you dominate any conversations you start and you stink of stale beer and ***s, and you've pissed on your shoes. You are no fan of football. You are a mess. PS. #7 I've never heard your voice.
Hahaha, i tend not to be too harsh as he's ex-Spurs and is a little beacon of biased hoped in the media for us, but.............he is a total berk. And **** goblin is a great insult.
1) Everything associated with Arsenal, Chelsea and West Ham. Stoke too actually. 2) Andy Townsend's commentary. 3) Adrian Durham. 4) Diving. 5) Trying to manipulate the ref into giving a card. 6) Conceding costly last minute goals. 7) Sitting down at WHL (and anywhere else). 8) The pundits on MOTD... I just want to see the highlights, not your "expert analysis"!!! 9) **** wums. 10) Roy Hodgson's tactics/ selection for England.
Yeah crooks and keane as pundits are full of ****, graham le'seux used to drive me nuts too but thankfully ain't seen him on tv for years now, shearer is ****e too
Sepp Blatter and his fat fart vice president now, he's said on camera that they didn't realise it would be too hot! ....in a middle east country sitting on the Tropic of Cancer ffs! the earth is nearest to the sun at this point in June. These are educated people, being given reports by professional people and I find it pathetic these deluded, doddery old bastards honestly expect us to believe the high temp is a complete surprise to them.
Yeah, i'll add Roy Keane to my list. The guy is a total bellend. I swear he just says things to be controversial. Having listened to him on tv i'm so not surprised he's a **** manager.
1. Sky 2. Scapegoating of Chelsea and City for all of the problems in football. 3. Sky 4. Media bias towards United 5. Sky 6. international Football 7. Sky 8. Low IQ of average football fan and inability to show any objectivity 9. Sky 10. Ticket prices + Sanitisation of the game.
Players who let the ball run out of play to get a throw in. Ffs it's better to keep the ball in because a throw in isn't much of an advantage. Players who give away penalties and stupid free kicks in the most dick headed of places on the pitch. Players who congratulate a team mate when a penalty has been awarded for the team. It's not the player who should be congratulated it's the sodding referee. Players getting themselves sent off. Players arguing with the ref, ffs get on with the match and stop wasting valuable time.
Andy Townsend Redknapp's Mouth Lineker and his Daily Mail persona. Wenger a very stupid intelligent person. Alan Green
I've remembered something else that really annoys me. Footballers and pundits who use the word "them" in place of "those." So many commit this particular grammatical faux pas, but Micky Dim (Mouser pundit and presenter on Talk****e) is the one I've chosen to take out my frustrations on. Richard "I'll now state the blinding obvious and then have an argument with myself about it" Keyes: Do you think footballers care, Mickey? Mickey "I'm so thick I couldn't tell your elbow from my arsehole let alone my elbow" Dim: "Without a doubt, them players do care. Argh! You twat!
1) high ticket prices 2) spurs losing 3) arsenal winning 4) non champions playing in the Champions League 5) cups being referred to as mickey mouse trophies 6) David Bentley 7) football agents leeching money out of the game which could go to grass roots kids football 8) idiot fans wondering why you support a team that never or rarely wins a trophy ( *coughplastictwatscough) 9) Sepp Blatter and everything him and his cronies stand for 10) Platini and everything him and his cronies stand for 11) the world cup and euro championships being awarded to countries where it is too hot to play 12) the world cup and euro championships being awarded to countries who treat their citizens like **** 13) diving and pretending to be injured 14) having C Gross on our list of past managers 15) having G Graham on our list of past managers 16) Alan smith covering spurs matches on Sky 17) Liking Gary Neville on Sky 18) Players earning a fortune whoring themselves out to advertise any piece of ****...like they need the money...Joe Hart and Headand Shoulders WTF????? 19) Players kissing the badge 20) players signing new 5 year contracts then demanding to leave within a year 21) Real Madrid and Barca continually being allowed to tap up any player they want 22) Players acting like ****s cos they are rich beyond belief and can get away from it 23) Players accepting father of the year awards or giving interviews about how they love their wife and kids one minute and then legging it to the high court to block a tabloid story about them shagging some one else claiming that they have a right to privacy...if they want privacy stop selling photos of their families/ wedddings/ holidays/ new borns etc. to Hello etc.! 24) made up bollocks in the transfer window 25) Terry Neil being on our list of former managers 26) the new wembley 27) ****ers mocking Hillsborough disaster...could have been any of us 28) the fact that spurs hooligans were the reason our best ever manager fell out of love with football and quit 29) we can not win a penalty shootout 30) we can not win a FA Cup semi final
* The implication from Sky and the BBC that, if you don't support Man Utd or Chelsea, you are wrong * Howard Webb, Mark Clattenberg and Chris Foy being seen as the best referees in the country * Pundits who know nothing about football being paid to know nothing about football with my TV License * The entire English media fawning over Jose Mourinho like tweenagers do over One Direction * Jose Mourinho in general * There being one set of rules for Man Utd, and one for everyone else * There being one set of Financial Fair Play rules for Chelsea, Man City and Real Madrid, and one for everyone else * Everything to do with ITV's coverage of football * Soccer AM * Football Freestyler * The needlessly irritating changes to the offside rule that nobody actually understands * EA and their FIFA juggernaut * Certain teams having allies in the press, whilst most teams don't * Fans who invade other team's forums to shout down any and all deserved criticism of their club (especially those of Chelsea and Man Utd) * The complete denial of everyone that England have never been particularly good at football * Attitudes towards national teams being at least 40 years out of date (especially Germany, Italy and Holland) * Rescheduling the FA Cup Final to 5:15 on a Saturday with two weeks of the season to go * The idea that people who go to matches these days aren't fans, but consumers * Music after goals * Pocket-lining scumbag agents * The FA making out that referees are infallable, when they clearly aren't * Plastics and glory hunters * The omerta of the dressing room that dictates that Anton Ferdinand and Patrice Evra were "wrong" * The same managers getting every job, despite a career of failure to say they shouldn;t be employed by any club with hopes of self-preservation
