Actually I wish I was mad ! Please don't tell me that I already am ! If I was mad then I might consider thinking about making my neighbour's life a misery. ( I still haven't swept up the 14 leaves that are in my garden ) Today As I'm getting my car out of my garage I saw my neighbour in my garden!!!!!! I didn't say anything to her. You never know, she might have been there to sweep up the offending foliage. I then closed my garage door - remembering to lock it - as always ( with the only key - in my possession ) As I get into my car she gives it a slap on the bonnet !!! ( I still remain passive ) ( no angry camel - yet ). I am out for about a couple of hours ( conducting an affair **- of which my neighbour has accused me ------ did I not tell you about that ? ) During my absence the postman has done his rounds. As well as the usual letters, he has delivered some junk mail. The postman did the professional thing and pushed the mail right through the letter flap................ Somebody ( I wonder who ? )...................... has subsequently put some junk mail through my letter flap - -well not so much through, but barely into the flap, leaving most of it dangling outside the letter flap. This was oblvioulsy my mad neighbour. ( I found the same junk mail inside the mail that the postman had delivered to me. ) Born Again Gill offer is beginning to have appeal. ** I am NOT / never have, had an affair.
After the recent episode of slapping his car bonnet I would suggest it better to stick the leaves through her letterbox, then do a reverse charge call to tell her she needs to get the hoover out. When she then comes round and has another go, tell her to shut her mouth because its causing a bigger draft then your own open windows.
The trouble is - ideally I'm still about 4' short for my weight ! How do you lose 14 lbs of ugly fat ? -- cut off your head. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23896855
I now know exactly what drives my mother mad I was visiting my mother today when she got a telephone call - which she couldn't understand, so passed me the handset. It was an Indian 'sounding' man. He wanted to help me with the repair to my computor. I told him that I visiting my mother and that she hasn't got a computor. He stated that he was calling about my computor. I said that my laptop wasn't with me - it was in my home 80 kilometres away, & that it wasn't broken. He asked on what number could he call me to fix my computor. I repeated that my laptop wasn't with me - nor was it broken. Reply " Yes, but what telephone number can I ring to mend your laptop? " I know that I should have told the chap where to go - but I was at my mum's place - I was concerned that, after I returned home, she would get pestered by this caller. I asked to speak to a supervisor - and was presented with a woman whose accent sounded very 'Indian.' She proceeded to ask me the same questions as her colleague. I kept repeating that my mother hasn't got a computor and that my laptop was at home, 80 kilometres from my current location...... " What telephone number etc ? " I pointed out that I suspected that they must find it difficult to understand English - despite repeating, in very clear and deliberate tone that there was no computor / laptop or other internet device at my mother's address. I didn't dare tell them that I have an Apple I phone ! I told them that I sympathised with them in their confusion - I could empathise with their situation - because English was not my first language ( I bet that's surprised a few of you ! ) - but - When I say that I haven't got one, IT can't be broken and IT cannot be fixed ! - how difficult is that to understand ? When I asked for the name of the customer requiring their technological expertise, the caller said they didn't have that information ! They then agreed to delete my mother's telephone number from their data base ( I bet ! )
So, what is it that vexes me ? No wins so far this season for Gills ? Insufficient creativity to produce goals ? Lack of basic concentration for 45+ or 90+ minutes being so costly ? Worrying downward trend (already), in the size of our home 'support' ? 101 other football related matters ? No - my worry is greater than that - besides, this is the AGRS thread - where football is not the main agenda ! No, yesterday I decided to clear up some leaves from my garden. I went to the rear fence where they tend to gather. I have ( had ) a number of various climbing plants - like clematis - to adorn my fences. Their numbers are now one fewer ! I found that one of them has been 'executed' !!! Decapitated and the lifeless corpse of this once beautiful plant lay amongst the leaves that had fallen into my garden. ( actually been pulled down from the fence ! ) - Now, just in case I need to point it out NO member of my household was the 'culprit'............ can you guess who was the offender ? What will she do next ? .......... Despite the fact that I have tried to accept all the nonsense I endure from my neighbour with my natural sense of humour - I am genuinely concerned regarding the impact of her next 'trick.'
No - my boys have their own homes ! She, however has 'adopted' the local seagulls as her pets. She has taken to throwing ( deliberately placing ) scraps of food next to my car for these rats with wings. I have to keep my car in my garage at all times ( even if I may be using it an hour later ) - otherwise it will be covered with more guano than I put in this thread. I kid you not when I come out with my latest revelation of the antics from next door.
You are are correct. I have to go to Gills matches just to keep me sane. ( obviously the longer we go without a win, the shorter the period of my sanity )
I think your joke may have been missed by alwaysright dare I say, but I thought it funny Youtube clip - definitely not suitable viewing in presence of young children: [NSFW][video=youtube;ecWhXP2jM28]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ecWhXP2jM28[/video][/NSFW]
Well as media conspiracies go, today's events certainly added to them. Why was there no TV coverage of the incident at the Dartford Crossing today that closed one of Kent's main arteries for many hours at the heart of rush hour traffic, as the bridge and tunnels were both closed. Total gridlock with cars and lorries stranded. I text home to find out the events that were unfolding but the internet was the only source of communication. Had there been a media blackout? Sources such as social networking can not be silenced unless the mobile network is brought down. Just seems odd when both Dover and Dartford are put on alert and our ever untrusting TV media of this country suddenly fall silent.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23939448 Why is so much money being wasted on the analysis - especially as the answers are so easy Q 1. What's the Moon atmosphere like ? A...... Well there's not a lot of it. Q 2. What's the Moon dust like ? A.......Well there's a lot of it. Realistically, for what use ( for the people back on Earth ) could any other information be put ? I could run the risk of alienating the fairer sex by saying that it is no coincidence that the unwomanned ( pointless ) probe is called Ladee.
I can't bring myself to give you all the details - because her latest trick just stinks The clue words are in my posts in two other threads - MA a little help and Callum Davies.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24026639 I like the comment by a former chairman of the BBC ( Lord Grade ) - that the BBC has a 'lack of understanding of the real value of money' Another 'funny' is that the Corporation's current boss, Lord Patten trying to claim that he didn't know about the payouts. A couple of days ago I was going to post an article on the waste of the licence fee - when I heard that the BBC's foreign correspondent had been flown to the USA to follow the American Secretary of State - on his journey to England !! for talks about Syria..... when all the time the BBC have a permanent correspondence in just about every place on the Earth - in case somebody breaks wind and the whole world needs to know. I am sure that all of you can add your reasons for scrapping this tax.
And this is the edition on Dave ! ...... I think I might be testing brb's friendship at this rate....perhaps I am more mad than my neighbour
alwaysright...I have to be careful to steer clear of debate on our beloved BBC and the licence fee. The last time I mentioned it somewhere the world and its wife dropped in on my shoulders against me. All telling me how wonderful the BBC are, great documentary's. Great family TV... I hasten to add this debate took place before the media highlighted a disgusting certain individual who liked to fix it for kiddies. I also saw there was some questions and answers debate on TV yesterday about someone's £M payoff. But stop brb...all those people were right and you are wrong...such a wonderful corporation eh.
Because it's No.500 ! This has nothing to do with my neighbour - I'm pretty sure that she doesn't even get a mention - and should provide you all with an opportunity to laugh at me. It does have an admission of much swearing by me - and on church grounds....... Listen, brb will tell you that I don't swear at Gills matches - so I need a release - and I have bitten through my lip not to vent my spleen at her next door ( damn, I mentioned her !)- but not again HONESTLY. Today I continued to do some voluntary gardening at one of my local churches. I was doing some weeding of the flower border around the perimeter of the church. I was on my knees ( seemed the appropriate position ) - but using a pad for cushioning. I had a bucket to collect the weeds - before putting them into a black plastic sack - from a roll I had on the ground near my equipment. For the benefit of BSG I didn't put the weeds straight into the plastic sacks because it was very windy and the sacks wouldn't sit still. As I worked my way around the border, I decanted the weeds from the bucket into the sacks - then shuffled along to do some more. When I had put enough bucket fulls of weeds into the plastic sack without any danger of overfilling the sack, I tied it off and went to get another one. I returned to where I had left my equipment ( only about 10 yards away ). Could I find the roll of sacks - like hell I could. I searched high & low - even thinking that the roll had been blown into the road, I looked under the only car in the road. I even asked for divine inspiration - Nothing ! The only explanation I could give was that one of the few people who walked past me must have picked up the roll of bags and nicked them. The vicinity of the church does have a high proportion of light fingered sinners. At this point I realised that I really couldn't continue with the work - because there was nothing which I could use for the collection of the weeds. This state of affairs disenchanted me. My language was less than Christian at the theiving b****** ( there wasn't anyone around whilst I cursed ), and I probably lost any chance of any heavenly reward for my labour. I had to stop my task, go to the local shop and buy another roll of sacks. I then returned to continue the work. A few hours later the heavens opened up and I had to stop for the day. I then collected up all the bags to place them next to the bin - ready for a 'green' collection. At this point I 'found' the original roll of plastic bags - inside the bin !! I then rembered looking next to this bin* when looking for a bucket to collect the weeds - the roll of bags were in my coat pocket and must have fallen out, into the bin as I passed it......... did I feel stupid as I remembered what I had said earlier - when I thought that they had been stolen from under my nose. * the bin was nearly full - so it couldn't be used for the collection of the weeds - in case somebody makes that suggestion.
