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Where was Joe?

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Sep 3, 2013.

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  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    A little light hearted thread to speculate where our dynamic DOF was on one of the most important days of our season.

    I think he was having donkey rides on Blackpool beach whist wearing a kiss me quick hat and carying a pint of Sangria.
     
    #1
    Albert's Chip Shop, Sep 3, 2013
  2. abc CissesCurriedGoat abc

    abc CissesCurriedGoat abc Well-Known Member

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    Probably hanging out with a few Indian babes in the coastal island of Sri Lanka, being fed grapes and drinking Bordeaux 1988 vintage all while bragging how he had earned his three manager of the year awards.
     
    #2
    abc CissesCurriedGoat abc, Sep 3, 2013
  3. JMC80

    JMC80 Member

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    In his office playing solitaire.
     
    #3
    JMC80, Sep 3, 2013
  4. Moorsleymountainman

    Moorsleymountainman Active Member

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    Pub
     
    #4
    Moorsleymountainman, Sep 3, 2013
  5. Maximin Effort

    Maximin Effort Well-Known Member

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    Stumbled into a bar to brag how amazing he is and offended the local Arsenal fans. He is now tied up in the basement after spouting a shed ton of bullshit about being able to get them 7 new centre backs and Shola. The kidnappers are getting annoyed because everyone they call asking for a ransom just tells them to keep him.
     
    #5
    Maximin Effort, Sep 3, 2013
  6. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Maybe we could all pay a penny a week towards the ransom fee and have him back among us by 2050.
     
    #6
    Agent Bruce, Sep 3, 2013
  7. JMC80

    JMC80 Member

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    Golf course followed by a heavy night on the sauce cos he thought the transfer window had shut on August 31st.
     
    #7
    JMC80, Sep 3, 2013
  8. Keith Fit

    Keith Fit Well-Known Member

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    Did anyone see that Perry Groves had talked to him? Apparently this was around 11:30am and Joe said that "agents had ruined the chances of any deals happening". Amazing how Joe picked the only players available who had dodgy agents. Incredibly lucky that the other 19 Prem clubs managed to spend £500m on players who had nothing but angels for agents.
     
    #8
    Keith Fit, Sep 3, 2013
  9. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    He's woke up today wondering what all this 'kinnear does nothing as window closes' is about.
    After numerous checks he decides it must have been his bathroom one as it was open when he fell asleep at half 6 last night.
     
    #9
    RobEllious, Sep 3, 2013
  10. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    He's still In his 'illegal sumo wrestling match', just can't get that bastard OVER THE LINE
     
    #10
    RobEllious, Sep 3, 2013

  11. abc CissesCurriedGoat abc

    abc CissesCurriedGoat abc Well-Known Member

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    He'll boast that it was very tough keeping clubs away from his Kebab for the last few hours, and probably thought he did a commendable job doing so. To add to that, weren't we linked with Demba Ba? Trying to get him back must've been tough on him , considering how many dodgy agents he'll have had to talk to.

    Let's not forget, he was manager of the year 3 times, signed Alan Shearer for us, and had a hand in Robin van Persie going to go to Manchester United!
     
    #11
    abc CissesCurriedGoat abc, Sep 3, 2013
  12. cronemeister

    cronemeister Well-Known Member

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    I think he was too busy flying Gareth bale to Madrid on Concorde for his big unveiling !
     
    #12
    cronemeister, Sep 3, 2013
  13. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Most likely asleep on a bench in Leazes Park, surrounded by cans of Kestrel Super Strength
     
    #13
    Warmir Pouchov, Sep 3, 2013
  14. magicbus

    magicbus Member

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    Bouncing up and down on his Space Hopper inside St. James screaming ` I`m in charge I`m in charge
     
    #14
    magicbus, Sep 3, 2013
  15. Bizarreknives

    Bizarreknives Well-Known Member
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    He's holding peace talks in Syria.
     
    #15
    Bizarreknives, Sep 3, 2013
  16. Hung Drawn and Quartered

    Hung Drawn and Quartered Well-Known Member

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    Graphic1.jpg


    oh! so close
     
    #16
    Hung Drawn and Quartered, Sep 3, 2013
  17. Seabass

    Seabass Well-Known Member

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    In barcelona trying to tie up a 5 mio plus add ons deal for messi so he can say he 'tried'
     
    #17
    Seabass, Sep 3, 2013
  18. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    His sense of geography seems a little askew so he's no idea where he is.

    He keeps claiming Geordies don't trust him because he's a Cockney.

    He's Irish ffs and was brought up as far from Cockerney land as Newcastle is from Scotland.
     
    #18
    Smug in Boots, Sep 3, 2013
  19. Beardsley's Rancid Sack

    Beardsley's Rancid Sack Well-Known Member

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    Kinnear and Ashley were busy spitroasting Pardew, who was wearing nothing but a pig bascinet, on Mike's boat somewhere in the Med. They all laugh once 11pm hits with a knock at the door as Carlton Cole arrives for the foursome.
     
    #19
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack, Sep 3, 2013
  20. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    I always though his Irish nationality was down to those 'England B team' technicality things
     
    #20
    RobEllious, Sep 3, 2013
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