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Amusement Thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Ron, May 29, 2011.

  1. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    If it turns out to be popular fine, otherwise I'll get rid of it. If anything is posted that is not suitable for children or work, or anyone easily offended please add a prominent warning NSWF. Anything abusive, racist or distasteful/disgusting will be deleted. If borderline it will be deleted by popular request.

    I'll start it off with an example of animation I came across.
     
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  2. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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  3. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

    This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

    Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however,as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.

    Kevin Roben

    Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd

    PO Box 5004 ( 11 Dobney Ave )

    Wagga Wagga NSW 2650
     
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  4. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    I remember Victor Borge reciting this report. It was hilarious.
     
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  5. Jenny!

    Jenny! Member

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    Ron, you should spend some time reading the stories contained within the following blog. Very, very funny indeed!

    http://www.27bslash6.com/
     
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  6. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    Thanks Jenny. There are a lot there. I'll have to read those later.
     
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  7. Jenny!

    Jenny! Member

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  8. Rocky blue army

    Rocky blue army Well-Known Member

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    hello jenny nice to see you miss us already:kiss:
     
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  9. Rocky blue army

    Rocky blue army Well-Known Member

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    i like it ron ,nothing wrong with a bit of laughter to brighten up the next couple of months before the footy starts again.
     
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  10. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    That accident report brings tears to my eyes whenever I try reading it to someone.
     
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  11. Rocky blue army

    Rocky blue army Well-Known Member

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    that aussie bricklayer ,what a donut<laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
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  12. grumpygit

    grumpygit les misérable

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    Hi Rocky,
    Just popped in to check out your gaff as your always in mine.:1980_boogie_down:
     
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  13. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    Evening Grumpy. You are very welcome here.
     
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  14. grumpygit

    grumpygit les misérable

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    Thanks Ron, I missed Rocky he was lurking over on my board.<doh>
     
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  15. grumpygit

    grumpygit les misérable

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    Rocky, Rocky, where art thou Rocky,:emoticon-0113-sleep
     
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  16. Rocky blue army

    Rocky blue army Well-Known Member

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    i have had plenty of things happen the last 2 days i could do with a laugh
     
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  17. alexmanu

    alexmanu Member

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    please log in to view this image


    Look Ron, I found you on the interweb. Don't be sour.............it's just banter ;)
     
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  18. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    <laugh> Looks like I could do with a shave Alex.
     
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  19. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    ...and a dick.
     
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  20. grumpygit

    grumpygit les misérable

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    Rocky,
    I've decided to take up petrology to find out what makes you tick:emoticon-0112-wonde

    please log in to view this image
     
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