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Friday Laughter Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by DevAdvocate, Aug 23, 2013.

  1. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    A FORMER policeman accused of sex abuse was critically ill last night after being attacked outside court.

    James Ainsworth, 61, was injured during a break in his trial at the High Court in Glasgow.

    Paramedics gave him CPR in the street and he was taken to intensive care, where he remained unconscious yesterday. A 31-year-old suspect is in custody.

    Ainsworth, of Largs, Ayrshire, was accused of a string of offences against a number of individuals dating back to the 1960s.
    The trial began on Monday and he was attacked at lunchtime on Wednesday.

    He was left on the ground yards from the door of the court building. Officers were seen taking a man – believed to be the suspect – inside.

    A witness said: “Almost every court police officer was on the scene.

    “The man on the pavement was not moving and was clearly in a very bad way. There were items scattered nearby. Paramedics treated him for about 30 minutes, including giving him CPR.”

    It is not believed any weapon was used in the attack.

    Reporting of the incident was banned for 24 hours while the authorities decided whether to continue with Ainsworth’s trial.
    And yesterday, prosecutor Kath Harper asked a judge to halt the case. She said it seemed unlikely that Ainsworth would be able to come to court “in the near future at all”.

    Miss Harper told the court: “Mr Ainsworth is in intensive care at the Southern General. His injuries are life-threatening and he remains unconscious.

    “He was put into a medically induced coma. Sedation was lifted and doctors are awaiting a reaction. Medical staff are unable to give any prediction for recovery.” Judge Lady Scott discharged the jury, telling them: “This may come as a shock and I hope you do not find it too distressing.”

    She called for a full report into the incident.

    Police said a man aged 31 was in custody and due to appear at Glasgow Sheriff Court today.
     
    #1
  2. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    Assault is HILARIOUS.
     
    #2
  3. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    innocent man battered almost to death :(
     
    #3
  4. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Fighting is funny when yer no involved in it <laugh>

    Canny beat sitting in the pub with a pint while two morons have a square go. It's like a free floorshow.
     
    #4
  5. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    The opening to Dev's autobiography?
     
    #5
  6. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    Accused, not found guilty elderly man is beaten near to death and this is funny.
     
    #6

  7. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    No such thing.
     
    #7
  8. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Tatties over the side for Dev I fear.
     
    #8
  9. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    This is pretty appalling (and shows a shocking lack of security for a very vulnerable defendant) but I suspect that many people's attitudes, including my own i daresay, will change if it emerges that the assaillant was either an alleged victim or the family of an alleged victim.
     
    #9
  10. EDGE.

    EDGE. Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    I'm astounded that ANYONE can find this remotely funny.
     
    #10
  11. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    A drug addicted ex soldier with no hair and the voice of a 9 year old might.
     
    #11
  12. Kim Jong Il

    Kim Jong Il Well-Known Member

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    Too far dev. Too far. <disappointmentmuir>
     
    #12
  13. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Happens all the time in my local. Especially when on OF game was on. Ye'd be guaranteed at least three punchups inside the boozer regardless if we won or lost.
     
    #13
  14. ManDingo 20"/20"

    ManDingo 20"/20" MDMA Guru

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    But are they square goes?
     
    #14
  15. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image


    I bet he laughs out loud at pictures like this.

    Drug addicted buffoon.
     
    #15
  16. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Why not? I do. I'm taking it that's yer maw?
     
    #16
  17. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    I thought this was a happy Friday thread and bank holiday for some of ye so I'll kick it off to lighten the mood.

    Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?

    A: Is that you coughin'?
     
    #17
  18. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Alright, ya picky ****, they're fights that suddenly break oot. Happy now?
     
    #18
  19. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Fighting parrots?
     
    #19
  20. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Am gonny slap the ****in heid aff you <grr>
     
    #20

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