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Love the Cambridge one I yearn for the days when there was no emails, spreadsheets and KPI's. Back in the days when we used to actually work.
A guy in my work emails me questions all the time... he sits 20 feet away! I delete them without reading! He emails me why I deleted them (as he puts a tracker on them). I delete them without reading! ****in come over and talk to me, ****!!!
I know "Let's have a meeting". "Oh **** off would you" All work is these days is lovely multi-coloured spreadsheets. "Oh to **** what is that over there Harold" "That's what we call in the business, a pipe" "Don't worry they all look the same on a lovely multi-coloured spreadsheet Donald"
There was a girl in our place who used to work for the civil service back in the 90s. She said that the manager would not talk to admin but tell his message to the person below him who then relayed it to the admin manager who then relayed it to their team. Said they all sat yards away No ****e like that in our place, everyone or most are on speaking terms
I hate those, they've installed a load of Cisco HD cameras in here for the conference calls. Get to see some Mechies big hooter in HD as he attempts to get the screen working on his side. Just what you need at 9 on a Monday morn.
You can keep an audit with emails too. Someone asks you to do something over the phone or by IM, you've got no record of it - an email can be kept to prove that the people you work with are lying ****s
I have to use all of this ****ey patter because I deliver reports for folk that use terms like that all the time. A good way to spot someone who barely knows what they're doing is if they ask for things to be displayed as Bell Curves all the time - absolutely statistically useless ways of displaying data which is usually better in a boxplot. Asks for Bell curves = ****er that did a six sigma course once
