Probably raped by a bunch of indian businessmen and when they went to get their flight you got all clingy.
That would explain the curry stains down the front of my shirt. It's a relief to know I'm not a sloppy eater when pished.
I've lost count of the stupid dumbass things av done when drunk. Mainly cos I hivny finished doing them yet.
Know two guys who got pished and ended up on the night train to london ... they woke up at about Peterborough and realised what the **** was going on... skint! But they had a cargo, so got pished again, feel asleep, got off in London, hammered their credit cards and came home on the next night train home!
Damn taxi drivers failing in their duty to make sure we all get home safe and sound. Lawsuit. That's whit I say.
I rented out a golf cart with my mates over in Florida when i was tanked. Wasn't meant to be taken on the road but we did anyway, near got hit about 4 or 5 times, going straight through red lights. Took a wrong turn and ended up in a ghetto. There was about 2 dozen black fellas sitting outside a liquor store and as they saw us they got up and surrounded our "motor" Thought they were gonna mug us but were simply over to talk to us and take the piss out of the size of the wheels on the wee cart.
Wandered into a Ghetto in Washington DC when pished after walking down the wrong road! Looking for a McDonalds! <Iknow> ****in shat myself!
I thought that image of huge black guys standing round a bin fire was just "hollywood" but it wiznae! Could only see the yellow of their eyes!
Another time me & a mate bounced in a taxi and told the driver to take us to a club with the best looking women in Miami. Took us to some dive in the arsehole of nowhere but the women were fantastic. Turned out it was Latino night and we were the only white people there. Started talking to a few birds then next minute a drink gets thrown round us, then a bottle near misses my mates head. Cue 10 pissed off Latino blokes getting into our faces and shouting **** in Spanish. Bouncers ****ed us out within minutes and wouldn't order us a taxi so we had to hitch hike back to our digs.
I think all the pubs and clubs in Scotland should be closed forever, purely to ensure that this sort of tragedy never strikes society again.
