I used to get one of my nephews to run up and punch his da and his uncles in the knackers when we were all playing fitba together. He was just the right height at the time. Till he did it to his da and got sent to bed.
' I can remember when I was wee, was staying with my brothers da and his pal got me to tan my brothers da with eggs. Ended up chasing him upto the pollok centre. Would find out later that he was wearing a suit for an interview and he never got the job **** um, hes a **** anyway.
The poor **** was going for a job as an Egg Juggler, obviously they took one look at him and knew he wasn't the fellow for the job.