Remember those school days when you would peak at the register to find out peoples middle name. Well these are the Watford players. Contracts Assombalonga Britt Curtis (o) Bond Jonathan Henry Deeney Troy Matthew Dickinson Carl Mathew Forestieri Fernando Martin Forsyth Craig Hoban Thomas Michael Hodson Lee James Stephen Hogg Jonathan Jenkins Ross-Aden Mensah Jnr Bernard Ayitey Murray Sean Michael Nosworthy Nyron Smith Connor Micheal Thompson Adam Lee Scholars Barnum-Bobb Jazzi Bawling Alfred Bobson Byers George William Cox Ollie Jaspar Charlie Crowley Oliver Cumberbatch Kurtis Benjamin Dillon Christopher Doherty Josh Eaton Austin Allan English Kamaron Javarn Devito Hope Ryan Clifford Jakubiak Alexander Louis Johnson Jorell James O'Nien Luke Terry Westlake Jack George Wilks Daniel John Willmore Jordan Alexis Joseph
Just remember there is a footballer born in Argentina with Lionel as his first name. After that, Martin as a middle name sounds a bit more Argentinian.
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
I've been looking for this particular effort for ages amongst my emails... so when I'm allowed to you will most certainly be Repped! Top fella for posting this gem!!!
Mother-in-law comes home and finds her son-in-law furious and packing his suitcase. " What happened? " she asked. Son in law: " What happened? - I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to Mary saying that I was coming home from my trip today, a day early. I got home and guess what I found? ... My wife, yes your daughter, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is the end of our marriage, I will leave forever! " " Calm down! " says mother-in-law, " There is something odd about this story. Mary would never do such a thing! Wait a minute while I check what happened. " Moments later she comes back with a big smile. " You see, I told you there must be a simple explanation ..... Mary didn't receive your email ! "
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a *****lian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... walk into a very fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group... "You can't come in here without a Thai. "
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her Stammerer's Action Group. She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said; "If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water." The Englishman immediately piped up; "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham". "That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist, "who's next?" The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out; "G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow". "That's no better either, Hamish. Now, how about you, Paddy?" The Irishman took a deep breath, counted to five and eventually blurted out; " London..... ". "Brilliant, Paddy!" said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise. After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said; " ....d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".
WHOOPS! A Husband and Wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question.... * WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get re-married?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do.." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you re-marry? " HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?" HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times." WIFE: "Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: *--silence -- HUSBAND: "****."
