The Shed Fred

When my Missus had our second, I asked the nurse to put an extra stitch or two in afterwards. Apparently, that's not very funny

 

Same as but the doctor asked how tight I wanted it? I grabbed his wrist and squeezed it until his hand went white and numb and said 'that tight'

 

.

 

Men

JT still to be captain...bold assertion early on from JM...

Having a chat with Torres when he comes back from the Conf Cup, Lukaku to stay, Ba to go apparently...

It's all go

 

There were still small patches of snow on the mountains until last week

 

Its is for Ba

 

Ba is my favourite name for a footballer
I've booked tickets for the Emirates cup and i'm taking my 4 year old grandson to his first ever game

 

Lets hope he wears that nice blue jersey he wore on Facebook

 

And last ever trophy

 

0-0 bore draw at the Emigrates after 72 mins, Cym nips for a piss and takes the nipper with him

Comes back.

6-0 to L'Arse.

 

They send him to the toilets when they're a goal down and the emeroids. I reckon they're taking the piss.

 

Ginge

 

Robby, meet you at usual place on Saturday, get the beers in

 

Are you two still frequenting the same gay bar ?

 

No, I don't think so Cym only he said you were the only gay in the village.

 

I don't live in a ****ing village so go and **** yourself you big pile of bulldog pooh

 

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And you reckon this ain't you? Even got on your match day strip.

****ing living image.

 

Oi watch it, a Chelsea gueezer burd is allowed, but thought I'd post a pic of me just in case, and I even put me teef in as special occasion

 

I can't believe you are a Sergeant.

 

Why not, believe me I've had many a man stand to attention