Pardew's 'Corner tactics' exposed in daily rag

I get the feeling the paper wouldn't have published it if it was their precious Harry Redknapp but then again I doubt he would be that ****ing ******ed to show his 'tactics' to the world

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Why not instead work on people to actually take a corner properly first?

I look forward to wonder and merriment of many second phase scoring from corners on Sunday. Perhaps we have Pardew wrong and he has lured the Journo bastards into his trap and surprises everyone with Rob Elliot charging up on our first corner of the game and scoring a majestical overhead kick?

 

oh my word. he really is a keystone cop that bloke.

 

This is all lies. There is no way Pards could write/type that out himself.

The only bit that gives it credibility for being Pard's plan is that it mentions Jonas.

Anyway, what the hell would that do anyway? Second phase? As BRS says, we need to get the ball in first (unlikely), then win the ball in the air (unlikely) before this 'plan' could work!

 

Funnily enough, I had a deam about Rob Elliot charging up on our first corner of the game and scoring a majestical overhead kick.

Might be something in that.

 

****ing disgraceful printing that stuff, lower than a snakes belly.

I'm now more worried than ever about our set pieces though, on two fronts. The revelation we do actually plan to use blockers (as we always call for), and there is some semblance of a plan, raises a large question about 1. The players ability to carry out instructions/understand them 2. The manager and coaching staffs ability to communicate it

 

With you completely.

 

The Sun are out of line for printing that prior to an all important game on Sunday and Alan Pardew is a muppet for waving them around photographers at the training ground.

 

I wouldn't wipe my arse on that rag if all the bogroll in the world was bought up by Tash.

 

As much as Pardew pisses me off at times I really think its well out of order for the papers to print that picture, you know if it was one of their favourites Redknapp, Allardyce, etc that picture wouldn't have made it to the editor.

 

Unbelievable, We have tactics.............

 

That's what the players say too!

 

Because it's a 'cutting edge' news paper?

 

It's a start...

PARDEW IN!

 

Indeed. Sums the quality of these rags.

 

Lol, the funny thing is we haven't scored a corner in something like 114 attempts. Think Opta posted that, think its the worst record in the English league's

 

How are they allowed to post teams tactics?

This is why Pardew stopped allowing people in for training, because our tactics were leaked.

 

Much like the team in general, it would seem. I get the impression Pardew turns up to a game with multiple phases all mapped out. However, in the almost inevitable event that life is somehow not so easily planned, we don't actually have an alternative. Like Liverpool, for example...I imagine it went something like this:

"Here we go. Phase one - kick off....third minute this is where phase two, our first long ball, should happe....wait, they've scored"...queue furious flicking of pages..."that's not supposed to happen at all. Says here that in phase 60 I bring on Shola, then in phase 94 Cisse scores a winner, I dive into the crowd and all is well. Sh1t. What the fck do I do now? Can I bring on Shola?".

 

I'm pretty sure we've broken some sort of record this season, pretty shocking really, I barely raise an eyebrow when we're awarded a corner, nothing will come of it, and yet you'd imagine it would be constantly worked on during training because we're so poor at it.
Frightening isn't it?!

 

Think all this "phase" bollox probably doesn't help. You put some big fellas in there and get your best set piece taker to aim at the penalty spot. Or has football changed since then? Percentages should give you A goal, but I think because we're trying something so specific it then becomes almost impossible to do.

 

I think it sums up the tactical nous of our manager regarding set-pieces when our "plan" comprises three short sentences...