Get your tweets out for the lads - transfer gossip from CWARR07

I would have posted all this last night as I was so excited just by gossip but the site seemed to be down.

The likelihood is that it is all rubbish but it still makes me smile (apart from the Enrique part).


Transfer latest -

- Charles N'Zogbia will be returning Gameiro bid accepted but only have permission to speak to player after last game.

- Enrique has confirmed that he does not want to negotiate a new contract, agent now sounding out prospective new clubs.

- Gervinho's advisors still stalling on offer made, 6 year contract offered & wages of 60k per week.

- Players will be brought in on free transfers, contracts drawn up & due to be signed off Ashley directly involved in all.

 

Nothing about what he had for dinner then.

I had a steak and salad.

 

Ok, I'm not Tweeting it, but here's my bit of transfer gossip, and my source is as real as CWarr's.

- Robbie Savage is being brought to the club in a coaching capacity. Pardew intends for Savage to show Coloccini how to use a pair of hair straighteners.
- Andreas Granqvist is coming to the club for a bid of £3m+Perch+Smith+Taylors+Wendy
- Ashley is going to spend £2.5m of the Carroll money renovating the training ground. Alan Titchmarsh is going to be planting some new borders, Tommy Walsh is going to be putting a decking area in one of the penalty areas, and Charlie Dimmock is designing a spectacular water feature for the centre circle
- Contract negotiations with Kevin Nolan have stalled after the player broke both his wrists in an ambitious double-handed ****ing incident. The Newcastle captain is unable to put pen to paper until either the obtrusive casts are removed or he learns to sign his name using a head wand.

All equally as likely to happen as anything CWarr says.

 

I think he's full of ****.

Why would we buy Gervinho and Zogs?

He talks so much ****e that every year he's bound to get one or two correct. He's only repeating, albeit in more detail, what we already suspect.

If he picks a completely new name out of the hat before anyone else mentions it then that person happens to sign I'd be impressed but he hasn't. Even the Tiote thing last year, we'd already been linked with him but Cwarr only confirmed the deal just as the press got wind of it. I believe it was just as he shunned WBA to join us instead.

Get's more credit than he deserves I think.

 

I can tell that's not from Twitter for two reasons:

1) It's all highly likely
2) Ashley is a great fan of Ground force

 

Also some of these must be over 140 characters...

I don't care that it is all gossip and made up, it just fills in this s**** space between the seasons.