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Venom Has A Rethink About Baiting Rednecks.....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by VenomPD, Sep 12, 2010.

  1. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Maybe it's best not to rile these types? <yikes>
     
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  2. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Im not sure they felt riled at any point , they mostly whooped it up agreeing on most of it ....unless I need to do some catching up on that thread
     
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  3. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Nah, I've not done any more Texan-Teasing yet. The fact that I said stuff like "metrosexuals and ultra-liberals" and "sob-sister" and they didn't see the irony in it is frightening. It's like poking a Downy with a stick; funny at first but eventually he'll use his ***** strength on you!!
     
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  4. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Ive only ever met one texan , to my knowledge , and I dont think he was typical of the breed

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    since he had a band called " The Texas Jewboys "
     
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  5. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> <laugh> What an ace name for a band!!!

    I've worked with loads of them simply because Texans think that they invented oil. The first time I ever went offshore I was staying on a Yank/Canuck platform. They all wear dungarees instead of boilersuits, mirrored Oakley sunglasses instead of safety specs and metal firefighter style hats instead of a plastic hardhat. Bunch of ****s. Plus the announcements over the tannoy system sound like "Fur de bur dur, phone fur der ter mur" literally sounds like gibberish.

    There was one mopey-faced arrogant Texan on here who was a gearbox specialist or something like that about 4-5 months ago and he was the rudest most ignorant **** I've ever met in my life. You meet some ****ers offshore but this guy was so far up his own arse he could give himself a colonoscopy.
     
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  6. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Im seriously thinking of applying for a firearms licence for " pest control ".....................I`ll just not let on what "pests " I have in mind <ok>
     
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  7. metal fire hat, dungarees and mirrored oakleys?

    or

    yellow plastic hat, boiler suit and saftey goggles?

    they sound pretty cool to me <ok>
     
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  8. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    That's why you're a ****er Nev. <ok>

    **** knows who they're trying to impress not much fanny out here in the middle of the sea.
     
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  9. not much fanny? look in the mirror.

    ps texans are all friendly as ****, even the gun totin ones. av made some friends for life on i lovetexas&guns.com <laugh>
     
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  10. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> Touché Nev. Point of fact is that any kind of overt physical display used for reasons other than attracting a mate is narcissism. Or if it&#8217;s offshore; homosexuality. That&#8217;s why only queers and steers come from Texas. <ok>


    P.S If you want to call me a taig then just do it as Nev not Butcher Baws.
     
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  11. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    P.P.S. I doubt you are Butcher Baws Nev but I'm going to keep accusing Rangers fans on here until one of you owns up. It could be Rocket or Frank in disguise though. You're my third suspect Nev...I've got my taige eyes on you.
     
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  12. <laugh> get muir face on the case. its no me anyway ya taig ****
     
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  13. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> <laugh> See if it is you. It's the best wind-up in Not606 history!!

    What worries me is that it might not be a wind-up and Butcher Baws really is some misshapen freak sitting there with a Red Hand of Ulster flag draped round his shoulders smearing faecal matter on papal pictures whilst pushing rosary beads up his arse....
     
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  14. Castleger

    Castleger Active Member

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    What was the Swedish chef from The Muppets doing on the tannoy??
     
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  15. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> That is literally how it sounded. It's also the only platform I've even been on where the tannoys were inside the cabins and went off all night. On the third night the rigger from Dundee I was sharing with got out his bunk screamed "****s!!!" at the top of his voice and ripped the cable out of the bottom of it.

    I dread to think what it would be like if there was an evacuation of the platform "Thir ur dur orm sperk. Thur ur nur mur gun C. Plur mur yur wur tur thur mur stur station"
     
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  16. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    Tannoys a brand name....you should call it a public address system <ok> <partridge>
     
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  17. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> <laugh> I was watching the Cock Piss Partidge one the other day.

     
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  18. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    I seen that one the other day as well <ok> Series 1 is much better than the 2nd

    I love the episode where he's at his stalkers house <laugh>

    Stalker - So you'll come for dinner and meet my brother

    Alan - Yeh, yeh (gets in car, rolls down window) No way ya spastic, you're a mentalist

    <laugh> <laugh>

    I watched the 1st two episodes of brass eye last night <laugh>
     
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  19. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh>

    I'm posting that

    [video=youtube;u3YUlcyPXLo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3YUlcyPXLo[/video]
     
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  20. brass eye is funny as ****. av got the box set.

    alan partridge licks balls. dont get it at all
     
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