Morning ****ers, how are we all today? I heard a rumour yesterday the sun will be making an appearance next week.
Ah right. To be fair its not been that bad in Bristol, The suns come out and its been warm enough to wear a t shirt out. Not today though, All though from my window I can see blue skies popping through they grey
Warm enough to wear a T-Shirt? Which Bristol do you live in? It's been ****ing freezing in the mornings all week you donut....oh yeah I forgot, Shiny only gets out of bed about mid-day so it would be a little warmer by then
You live in the part of bristol where the sun never comes out plus I wear a t shirt whatever weather. It has been warm enough if you're not a little bitch
bullshite unless you have a thousand layers of blubber around your gut, you ain't been walking around Bristol in a T-Shirt
"from my window I can see blue skies popping through the grey" Chris can see his dirty mis-shappen cock helmet popping through his pyjamas, it looks like a battered blood orange thats been hit with a hammer...
Just read this on facebook After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury's Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury's... Dear Mrs. Harris, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras": 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.
