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Animal Football

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Ben14, May 21, 2011.

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  1. Ben14

    Ben14 Member

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    Did this the other day on a coaching course. pretty fun. You have to pick an animal Football team and why they are picked. Have a go!
    GK - Cat - reflexes
    LB - Tiger - Balance of speed and size
    CB - Bear - Huge, aggressive and quick
    CB - Rhino - Strong and fast
    RB - Horse - Fast with stamina
    RW - Leopard - Very fast
    CM - Bull - Stamina, speed and aggression
    CM - Panther - Elegant playmaker. Also quick
    LW - Racehorse - Strong and fast
    ST - Cheetah - Very fast
    ST - Giraffe - Height to win headers
     
    #1
  2. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    GK: Giant octopus
    LB: Polar bear
    CB: Polar bear
    CB: Polar bear
    RB: Polar bear
    LW: Polar bear
    CM: Polar bear
    CM: Polar bear
    RW: Polar bear
    ST: Polar bear
    ST: Polar bear

    Ain't no ****er getting past ten polar bears and a giant octopus.
     
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  3. Ben14

    Ben14 Member

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    Think a different animal per position is a rule I should mention......
     
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  4. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    They are ten different polar bears <ok>
     
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  5. Jesus Was A Geordie

    Jesus Was A Geordie Well-Known Member

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    GK: Octopus

    LB: Blood Hound - stamina to bomb forward, good instincts and always knows how to track back and get stuck into the opposition.
    CB: Gorilla - Strong and fast. Gets stuck in and lets the striker know who's boss. Good old fashioned Terry Butcher type!
    CB:
    RB: Sheep Dog - the smaller, more intelligent member of the back 4. Totally disciplined, knows exactly where to be and at exactly the right time.


    CDM: Bull - Powerful, fast and aggressive. Will lose his temper from time to time, but nobody messes with him on the pitch.
    RM: Greyhound - All out pace player. Can sometimes lose possession and doesn't have the greatest touch, but will get to that byline before anyone else. Not as skilled ast the LM but has far more enthusiasm.
    LM: Cheetah - Fastest player on the pitch and with more of a killer instinct than the RM. Can sometimes feel like he only needs to score/assist once in a game and does little else after that.
    CAM: Hawk - Graceful and calm. He will float around the pitch seeing things other players don't. Can be largely anonymous for long periods but will then come out of nowhere and produce a killer pass.

    CF: Wolf Spider - Aggressive, not as mobile as the ST, seems to bring down every ball that comes his way though. Great in the box, will pounce on anything during a goalmouth scramble!
    ST: Tiger Shark - Fast, powerful, the ultimate predator. Can never stop moving!
     
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  6. AH

    AH Active Member

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    i saw some chavs playing football with a hedgehog the other day
    I was horrified!
    I was about to ring up the RSPCA until I saw the hedgehog had just gone 1 nil up
     
    #6
  7. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    There you go
     
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  8. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    No crocodile as a sweeper up?
     
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  9. Obertan's Rancid Toe

    Obertan's Rancid Toe Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    rep
     
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  10. SSJNUFC

    SSJNUFC Active Member

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    GK - Octupus
    Lb - Bull
    Cb - Polar
    Cb - grizzly
    Rb - Gorilla
    Lm - Cheetah
    Cm - Tiote (absoloute animal :D)
    Cm - Horse
    Rm - Tiger
    Cf - Snake
    St - Lion
     
    #10

  11. Son of a pitch

    Son of a pitch Active Member

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    GK: Blue Whale (That already guarantees a clean sheet)
    LB: Lion
    CB: Polar Bear
    CB: Hippo
    RB: Rhino
    DM: Bull
    LM: Emu
    RM: Kangaroo
    AM: Cheetah
    ST: Goat (Like the one from Jackass)
    ST: Tiger
     
    #11
  12. Voluptuous Vuckic

    Voluptuous Vuckic Active Member

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    GK: Honey Badger
    RB: Honey Badger
    CB: Honey Badger
    CB: Honey Badger
    LB: Honey Badger
    RM: Honey Badger
    CM: Honey Badger
    CM: Honey Badger
    LM: Honey Badger
    ST: Honey Badger
    ST: Honey Badger

    Simples..............
     
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  13. Sir Bobby

    Sir Bobby Active Member

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    Our team:

    Harper: Sloth (2-1 down with 5 mins left and he'll be acting as if we're 4-0 up in a friendly)
    Jose: Bull (obvious)
    Coloccini: Fox (mixes skill with incredible brains)
    Saylor: Stampeding elephant (don't get in the ****ing way!!!)
    Simpson: Cat (stops and nearly ****s itself if you go towards it, before running backwards)
    Gutierrez: Giraffe (finds it hard to stand up)
    Tiote: Tiote
    Nolan: Cow (maybe not the most appealing, but does more than most other animals what with making milk, cheese etc)
    Barton: Llama (angry, but educated)
    Ben Arfa: Leopard
    Ameobi: Deer (on ice)
     
    #13
  14. Son of a pitch

    Son of a pitch Active Member

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    <laugh> I don't think anyone will disagree with that one.
     
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  15. Voluptuous Vuckic

    Voluptuous Vuckic Active Member

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    <laugh>
     
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  16. skalpel

    skalpel Active Member

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    Expected to see a video of people kicking a hedgehog around a field or something here. Anyway, the hell with the whole animal kingdom, I'm convinced you can do the whole team with apes and monkeys:

    GK - Gibbon (massive arms)
    LB - Squirrell Monkey (cos i did this one last and had run out of monkeys)
    CB - Mandrill (brutal son of a bitch)
    CB - Mountain Gorilla (see above)
    RB - Spider Monkey (fast and tireless, likes to piss off predators by throwing **** at them)
    RW - Macaque (small, nippy, hyperactive)
    CM - Bonobo Chimp (intelligent, probably good at feeding inventive balls through since it has inventive ways of feeding itself)
    CM - Orangutan (intelligent, defense minded)
    LW - Capuchin (small, nippy, hyperactive)
    CF - Baboon (total bully)
    CF - Howler monkey (strikes fear into other animals so could probably strike balls into nets)
     
    #16
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