......Farmers, Johnny Giles, Emma Freuds, Grapes etc. A chap at work asked me for a quiet word (being the understanding, help anyone out sort that I am) because he'd something personal to ask. Turns out he'd noticed "something not quite right down below" and despite me pulling a face like the Queen sniffing a ****ty finger he carried on describing what ailed him. From what I can gather he was describing hemorrhoids and asked me what he should do about them. A couple of issues; 1) Since when am I Doctor Homo from Embarassing Bodies? 2) Since when was my degree in medicine? 3) What on earth did he think google was invented for? (other than porn) 4) How are you meant to keep a straight face when telling someone what to do with their ring-piece dilemma? Anyhoo, I told him if his GP was a woman to get down there sharpish so that he could get Doctor Jellyfinger to give his arse a prod (see previous posts on the joy of anal examinations) or pop to the chemist for some Preparation H* Any of you ever suffer from this particular affliction? *Interesting fact - Prep H contains shark oil
FFS, I get the farmers about once a month. Tell him to stop trying so hard to **** and let it come out on it's own. Also, tell him to keep some tissue handy as when they burst it's going to be very messy and embarrasing.
Nobby Stiles. The Grapes Of Wrath. If you weren't such a **** Grove you would push them back in for him. Man up for ****s sake.
Hang on, I thought I was a ****? Or am I a ***** now? I may have offered to stuff them back up but he had described one of the grapes being of a greenish tinge. Put me off to be honest.
Who the **** gets piles? Bunch of old ****s You lot need to be a beacon of health like me. <GoVeggie>
Once you've topped yourself (and do so you shall) it will matter not one jot whether you are healthy or not ***got.
Cut to the chase Grove. You're obviously quite close to this fella and you're a closet gay, or he's clearly on the pull for a bit of naked frollicking.
