Feel free to post your own. when making a sandwich, take a slice of bread from each end, so you get an even amount of vitamins, that tend to sink to one end.. this is what is meant by a balanced diet. if one exhales after a breath one may take another breath and not suffocate. You're welcome chaps.
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Smoking heroin, commonly referred to as Chasing the dragon will not get you addicted. Honestly, try it out GUISE.
As a handy, up-to-date alternative to unreliable local weather forecasts, just stick you head out the ****ing window.
Next time you're constipated or the poo just isn't coming out, push down on the space in between your tailbone and your butthole. The poo will come right out.
Don`t throw away your used cotton buds, paint the sticks red and blue and you`ve got yourself an American Gladiator staff for your star wars figures.
BUY a television set exactly like your neighbours’. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.
even if ye get caught, you'll avoid jail... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...izabeth-Jones-cried-rape-11-times-jailed.html
If you ever feel depressed, lonely and extremely anxious, get an assault rifle and visit your local primary school.
The awkward moment when hash realised that the fat bird in question was in fact his ugly fat ass wife.
Get away with rape by raping a compulsive liar: http://www.inquisitr.com/546858/wom...compulsive-liar-falsely-accused-innocent-men/ Edit: oh bin dun nvm
