The Official Man Utd & Liverpool plus Chelsea, Everton and City Banter Thread!

As I said get a grip and come to terms with your dire team and your ****pig of a manager

 

The problem is Liverpool have become so ****e its no longer fun to take the piss

 

You just gotta feel sorry for that old **** Fergie, so little time left to spend with his family once he decides to retire, he'd have retired years ago only for LFC.

 

Naa Sir Alex was merely sent down from the Heavens to torture Liverpool

That or his wife won't let him retire!

 

Maybe Tommy Doc is on the viagra.

 

Why would you want to spend time with your family when there's a perfectly good football club to torture with your continued success?

20 + 3 + 11 > 18 + 5 + 7

He'll probably turn out to be like Thatcher anyway - living on forever and laughing at the Liverpool fans waiting for him to finally pop his clogs

 

What did you think of the dog, you condescending ****pig?

 

Looks like a dog. A complete and total dog. The hound looked alright tho'!

Seriously, tho, £600 for a dog? A dog?!? It looks cute and everything, but for £600 you could have bought a plasma TV and had spare change for a few nights at the Cheese. Tho' to be fair I know nothing about dogs. Never really been much of an animal person.

 

Do you really think I had anything to do with laying out any money for that? It was a Christmas prezzy from her boyfriend and mother combined. My dog cost ten bob from a farm. It is a pleasant pooch though.

 

PS You are an animal though

 

You've bought a dog rhc? Another one of those Eastern European women you like?

 

No.My parents bought me a dog when I was 16. The 'Eastern European women' are fit

 

Good to hear - never had you down as a more money than sense type of bloke

It does look like a nice dog. My missus and daughter want to get a dog once we have worked out where we are going to settle down long term. I told them that's absolutely fine as long as I don't need to feed it, clean it, clean up after it or indeed do anything apart from pay for its food and occasionally call it a good dog.

 

I thought you were settled in upper Jockland. I'm expecting a few days up there in the summer.

PS You can always use the dog as an excuse to go to the alehouse, if you need an excuse, of course

 

Settled for the foreseeable future, but it all depends on the wife's work. It's a wee bit too remote up here for our liking, so if she can get a job in a more civilised place then we'll be off. Renting for the foreseeable future as well, so that makes the whole pet thing a wee bit difficult.

And my excuse for going to the alehouse is usually "I want to go to the alehouse". Given that I'm usually the one who cooks dinner, washes the dishes (alright, loads the dishwasher) and takes the little one too and from nursery, the missus tends not to have too many complaints

 

Being what they are, they usually find something to whinge about

 

Lying bastard

 

This ^

 

My wife wants a dog. A brown labrador. I think they cost about £600. I told her we can go to the local animal rescue place and she could choose one from there. I doubt there will be many brown labradors on display though.

 

If you send Gerrez in beforehand, he'll oblige by shatting on a normal labrador, thus converting it into a chocolate lab. Seriously, they're lovely dogs with a great temperament.