F1 fans talk some crap as 2013 rules announced

F1 purists around the world have reacted with dismay to news that Formula One cars are set to undergo some drastic cosmetic surgery to make them appeal to a wider audience.

Many fans insist the cars are just fine as they are, but that has not stopped the single-seaters from making an appointment to have the size of their wings reduced and their flat bottoms made more curvy. They are also understood to have admitted that they have a collective drinking problem and want to downgrade to smaller turbo engines to get their addictions to vast amounts of fossil fuels under control.

One fan, who posts constant angry diatribes that nobody reads on several F1 forums and lives with his mother, said: ‘This season was a classic, so I don’t know where F1’s insecurity comes from. Maybe it wasn’t given enough praise as a child. I guess it is 60 years old now so it’s probably getting a bit self-concious, but all this constant tweaking every couple of years means that it’s going to end up like Joan Rivers.’

Another fan, who still wears a Rothmans Williams cap to races, said, ‘ We want F1 to be loud, inefficient and boring. That’s what it’s all about. The FIA asking Patrick Head and Rory Byrne to redesign these cars is a dangerous step towards F1 being universal entertainment. We can’t be having that. The hardcore F1 fans need to be able to discuss the V-angle of the Cosworth engines and the latest winglet update to the McLaren. We don’t watch it for fun. And we certainly don’t want our wives to develop an interest in it either.’

Nevertheless, the changes to the cars are likely to go ahead.

One F1 insider said, ‘These prats are whinging about F1 becoming unrecognisable in the face of these constant changes. They might want to go back to watch their 1985 season review VHS and remind themselves that in that ‘classic era’ all the cars had turbos and smaller wings. These people are too busy being irate to realise that what they’re saying is complete crap.

‘These days overtaking manoeuvres are as numerous as red squirrels and anyone who claims not to care about that is probably a closet cricket fan.’

Riveting Stuff

 

That was actually quite funny.

You couldn't have written that luvgonzo.

 

It's from here: http://reverendfrog.co.uk/frogblog/page/5

There's some quality stuff on there.

 

No defo not me, haven't got a clue about F1 tbh. We have a F1 fan Jose Lorca who constantly on our forum taking the mick so i'm kind of posting crap in protest really. So no offence to you F1 guys.

 

Glad to be of help!

 

If that's your attempt at WUMming, luvgonzo, you really ought to be cowering before Jose Lorca, not baiting him.

 

Just posted on the Liverpool forum that you guys liked it I am officially a crap WUM!

 

I know a few on here who are guilty of that!

 

This is a pathetic WUM article - buts its a good read and funny stuff. Why can't all WUMs be like this?