WEMBLEY HERE WE COME - Part 4 (Chico gets p****d)

Phil could hear footsteps come down the corridor. The keys turned and the door opened. “You can go now”.

It hard been a long cold night in the cell and he had a few brief flashbacks to the night before. Knackered was getting released at the same time and they walked back to the B&B – on opposite sides of the road.

At the B&B there were a few early risers having breakfast and Phil noticed FFS sitting alone tucking into a sandwich. “How are you on your own?” queried Phil. “All you lot got pissed last night, so I had the freedom of Reading” replied FFS. Phil winced.

He noticed everyone had bacon and eggs and queried the contents of FFS’s sandwich. “It’s tongue” said FFS.
“Horse or cow” said Phil. “Neither” said FFS “It’s John Hughes’s.
Phil fainted.

He woke up and found the B&B buzzing with cops. Hughes had come home in the dark pissed and crashed out in a room where FFS was sleeping. The police found Hughes trussed up and wrapped in clingfilm, minus his tongue.

FFS was now missing.

The police wanted to clear the B&B so we were all pushed on the bus and told to get out of Reading asap.

Dill was slumped at the front of the bus with a strange hat on. Aber and Sussex had carried him on as he was still pissed. Trundlesleftfoot was just to deal the first hand of the day when there was a loud scream. “BAAAAAAASTAAAAARRRRRD”.

Dill had taken his hat off and in the window reflection he could see “CCFC” tattooed on his forehead. “You said you wanted a tattoo like mine” said Aber. “Same style I meant” said Dill, “not same ****ing letters. I’m going to the biggest game of my life and I’ve got CCFC on my ****ing forehead”
“Don’t worry” said Aber “It’s only a three day one, you can wash it off on Tuesday”. Dill decked him, sat back in his chair, and put his thumb in his mouth.

It was a fairly quiet journey as we headed up the M4. Dai, in his full Swans kit in front with Chico and everyone else half sleeping, nursing hangovers.
It was too quiet for a Cup Final day.

With Dill inconsolable, Ivor took charge of the bus.” Right lads we have got six hours before kick off so we are going into West Drayton for a good drink and a sing song before we push on to Wembley”

No one disagreed so into the first pub we rolled. The quiet mood soon changed once the lager started flowing. Billyjack found a juke box and it wasn’t too long before the Thai girls were dancing on the tables.

It was a full party. Max jumped on to a mini stage and gave us another song:

We arrived in West Drayton, looking for some ale,
Dill has got a tattoo and Vetch is looking pale
A Thai girl teased young Billyjack, she pushed him on a bunk,
But Billy knew what she wanted aye, his photo of Gary Monk,
And we were singing, hymns and arias, land of my fathers, ar hyd a nos........

Ivor pushed his way to the bar and ordered another pint. As the barman gave him change he glanced over and saw Chico. He was pissed.
Dai had gone to the bookies to put a few bets on and in the meantine the tall, dark, handsome Spaniard had washed down two bottles of red.
Ivor was mortified “What are we going to tell Sir Michael? He can’t play in this state, there are only two hours to kick off”

Ivor told the barman to stop serving and clear the pub. Everyone was herded on the bus again and the race was on to get to Wembley.
Dill was cajoled into putting a rather large hat on to cover his CCFC tattoo, while everyone was ordered not to laugh at him while he dished out the tickets.

He walked down the aisle and dished out the tickets to those on the right hand side of the bus first, and then walked back up the aisle and dished them out to those on the left side.

As he approached the front he realised he was two tickets short. Neveroffside and Billyjack were ticketless. “How did you manage that you prick?” said never. I ordered 48 tickets said Dill, Block 110 behind the goal.

“You’ve gave two tickets to the Thai Girls” said Billy.
The two Thai Girls were sitting there laughing. “You boyz want tickets?” Never and Billy nodded. “We give you ride and you have tickets?”
Never and Billy looked at each other and gulped...................

The bus drove at speed to Wembley with a police escort. The tyres screeched as we pulled up outside. Dai and Ivor hauled Chico off the bus and took him in to the Swans dressing room.

Sir Michaels jaw dropped when he saw Chico. Ivor and Dai left the room sharpishly and headed back to the bus before they had a bollacking.
Everyone had now clambered off the bus and had sorted out their tickets. Even neveroffside and Billybjack had theirs.........

Up to the stadium they all strolled, buying programmes , a last bag of chips and two more pints on the concourse. A couple of lads joined us as they had come up on the train, including Swamp, STID, Bessian, exiledjack, JackAttack, ValleyGraduate and ChicoTime.

ChicoTime gave Musty a green parker coat, the same as he wore – they were the mods.

We entered the stadium, the Swans were warming up. Suddenly there was a groan from the crowd when a tannoy announcement confirmed that Chico Flores was injured. Gary Monk was to start instead.

The Swans were being put through their paces when all of a sudden there was a scream of agony. Monk had pulled up with a torn calf muscle – there were only ten minutes to kick off.

There was a large huddle by the Swans dugout and suddenly Michael Laudrup ran down the touchline and headed towards Block 110. He was looking into the crowd until he saw the 606 crowd. “Ivor” he shouted “where’s that lad in the full Swans kit?”
“He’s by here” said Ivor “It’s Dai”
“Dai” shouted Sir Michael “YOUR PLAYING!”

Dai stood up. He stuck his chest out and ran down the steps onto the hallowed turf. The crowd roared.

DAI IS GOING TO PLAY CENTRE HALF FOR THE SWANS IN THE CAPITAL ONE CUP FINAL

 

And Dai scores the winner-a header from a corner!

 

pmsl go you ****ing good thing Dai

 

is dais squad no "606"

 

666

 

Dai is playing FACT

 

Dai, can I have your autograph please ?

 

Very strange the ref allowing Dai on the field wearing red

 

Flipping brilliant

No he was in all white,but
when he turned around he had Brendan on the back!

ChicoTime gave Musty a green parker coat, the same as he wore – they were the mods

were the others(off their) rockers

 

If Dai scores the winner we'll never hear the end of it

 

Brilliant had me in tears. It was well worth it with the Tai girls to get a tickets. I'm sure Billiyb enjoyed it too much. Dilli better not pull that trick on me tomorrow!!

 

Funny you should say that........

 

Shuuurrrruuuupppp mun don't tell him

 

any chance of a pale ale Dilli?

 

lol i thought it was a thai girl turned out to be Never it was dark you know.

 

feel your way around billy

 

The secret is out. Neveroff and Billy I always had my doubts about the pair of you

No Musty you can't have the pale ale I'm going to give it to these two ladyboys instead
Their need is greater

 

Don't you know what was in the bottle Dill

 

aber drank his piss, i mean pale ale rofl

 

Tattoo 4 u Dilli