Valentines day

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'

 

Nah I will probably spoil her with alphabeti spaghetti and for extra romance spell out I love you along her slightly burnt toast.

 

ooooooh, Parsley

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Check oot, fancybaws.

 

****, it's my wife's birthday that day too. Think yourselves lucky.

Take my wife, please.

 

Post a pic of her first..

 

No backies. Take her or leave her. (She's surpisingly pretty considering what I look like).

 

Will there be 3 year gaps between pumpings?

I know her cooking is meant to be good but if it's 36 months of ****ing over her whilst she's sleeping, I'm out.

 

As long as she has her own teeth i imagine gas would be happy to oblige..

 

You know me too well.

Ah wid

 

Pillows BD, pillows.

 

Card, mibby flowers, choccies, oot for dinner on the Saturday after it.

 

Pussy loved up romantic.

 

Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen.... oh, wait a minute. ****.

 

She cooks ma dinner two/three times a week. Am no ****in daft. Keep her sweet.

 

I don't really think Gas is that fussed on teeth or not. The Brizzler probably enjoys a good gumming.

 

Teeth are overrated.

 

When I was younger I used to subscribe to the "treat em like ****, cos **** sticks" ideal. It works. Right up until it doesn't.

 

Maybe we should apply to that C4 programme Undateables