So, what reasons have people had for getting of perfectly decent birds.. Over the years I've got rid of a few for ridiculous reasons really.. My all time worst was getting rid of one who wouldnt give blowies, which would seem fair until I found out she was abused as a child.. Got rid of one for having one tit bigger than the other.. Just couldnt accept a bird with one good tit. I could go on but feel you should all share you're shallow stories
I dumped one as she had flappy bomb doors. When she stood in front of me it looked like she had a dogs tongue hanging out of her.
Because she was mental. And a bird I'd always fancied came back on the scene so I took her on the holiday I'd booked with the nutter. She was not pleased. I still had blue balls after taking the other bird away because she "didn't like me that way" (lesbian) and I never even got a hand shandy despite the expense. I called Loony Tunes when I got back from the trip to see if she fancied a ride but for some reason she was rather hostile. I think she was fiddled with as a kid too, very strange girl. But with, perhaps, the finest shaped breasts I have ever had the pleasure of. Not found better to this day.
Interesting.. I once dated a bird with probably the finest body ever, she was skinny enough to see her hip bones and had D cup tits. She was mental also, like proper mental. I feared for my pets life. I dumped a ridiculously fit bird who I regret now as she is still stunning but she had massive tits for a skinny bird.. But they had no weight to them.. They were like loosely filled water balloons. No firmness at all.
Would you ever dump a bird because she squirted too much? I mean serious soaked bed squirting like a burst high pressure water main. I did
No because I wasn't stupid enough to offer her a relationship in the first place. And she sure as **** didn't get to use my bed.
To be fair, dumping a burd because she's mental isn't really that shallow. I once dumped a burd because she spoke French in her sleep. Funnily enough she had a great set of jugs on her too. Must be something about the body putting all it's energy into developing great tits instead of their brains.
Yes.. I've never properly dated a gusher.. Did pull a gusher last year, when I got off the bed it looked like a murder scene as there was my outline on the bed.. I didn't bother with her again. My mate dumped a bird for being a screamer.. I quite like a bird who screams a bit.. Especially when you hold a knife to their throat.
A gusher is a lot of fun for a while, especially when she sits on your face and lets go, but effectively pissing the bed every time she gets off would become a trial. I like a bird to get a good scream on too but I prefer them to be all demure and polite until they can't control themselves and start swearing like a fish wife. It's when they go from "Oh god!" to "Oh ****ing Christ!" to threatening you "Oh don't ****ing stop you ****" Or words to that effect. I love a potty mouth on a bird.
When I was 15 (and sporting a full beard) I went to an Over 30s night at the Starlight Rooms in Enfield. I was chatted up by a bird who looked like David Bowie in the Labyrinth. She was well into her forties and had just gone through a messy divorce. Soon after meeting her, she invited me out to her Renault Clio for a spliff. Everything was going fine until she started stroking my leg and asking if I fancied a blowie. A blowie from Bowie! I declined, but did manage to seal the deal for my first ever anal experience. By the way, I was giving, not receiving.
It's not every day you get the chance to **** a Davie Bowie lookalike up the arse. Can't say the idea appeals myself.
Why is that the aftermath of a gusher always look like a silhoutted map of Africa on yer bedsheet. It's a mystery.
I dumped one bint because she refused to share my views on Nexus* Excellent journal priced at £4.25 and available from most leading retailers and neswagents aimed at intelligent people with enquiring minds.
Apparently I was shallow when I chucked a burd for only letting me pump her once a week. It was every week but once a week isn't enough.
