Mick I'm the same, I have to get on a ****ty Eastern Airways flight into Scatsta in Shetland twice a month. Quite possibly on of the ****test airports on Earth. This is the runway: please log in to view this image
a would buy an SR71 and a pilot. who needs 1st class when this badboy can get from america to london in under 2 hours please log in to view this image
Aye but at least you don't get raped in security twice a week. Guernsey Airport is ****in brilliant, taxi picks me up from the office at 4pm and I'm sitting by my departure gate at 4.15pm with a rucksack full of duty free. I just don't like these wee ****ing planes, the more I go on the more I think my odds of being killed on one are shortening. please log in to view this image
Every single one of our bags gets a full search. We have to queue for 40 minutes just to let some creepy auld Aberdonian rake through our personal gear and take every item out of your washbag like it's explosives. Plus they have to do 41 (**** knows why 41) drug swabs on bags and 18 piss tests every day. I'm ****ing bricking it every time I have to go offshore that I'm going to get tested. Luckily I'm a speccy wee innocent looking **** and it's always the ropey looking scaffs and jakey looking roustabouts that get drug tested
i got a round through customs at kandahar by accident and they were pretty thorough (because we've access to all that stuff) he must've been distracted by the foot long carving knife in my bag i remember when i was back and forth to dublin airport a lot about 5 years ago some jounalist decided to test the airport security (a block of plasticine with some wires and a pen stuck in connected to an alarm clock in his bag or something daft) and for months after the airport was a ****ing nightmare, you werent allowed to take a power cable in your laptop case "because you could garotte someone", what about my belt dipshit
You can kill someone with just about anything anyway. A rolled-up magazine to the throat. Shoelaces as garotte. Christ you could even break the ****ty tray your meal comes on and stab folk with a big shard. I got a stanley knife through Aberdeen, Charles De Gaulle and Schipol airports in my carry-on luggage in 2008. I also got it through through the heliport checks in Den Helder. Did it completely by accident. You can get almost anything on a plane if you're white and speak English
Dublin airport is worse than any British airport - big bloated piece of ****. They're only opening their second terminal now after terminal 1 became ****in enormous, have to walk about 2 miles to get to your departure gate after being abused by an OTT security guard. I can get off an incoming flight in Gatwick and be at my departure gate for my connecting flight within 20 minutes easily, Dublin takes about an hour.
I was stopped and searched at Kos airport and my brother had snuck a bear covered in yogurt and chocolate spread into my bag just before I left. Try explaining that to airport security who don't understand Scottish accents, and the bird. She thought it was a **** rag that I wipe my arse with as well At least he had put it in a plastic bag so I didn't get it all over my clothes
it was also when they were building that tunnel (i assume they're done now) so it took about an hour and a half to get the bus there from UCD, getting on a plane became an all day event
when doing a google search for that flybe plane I see that one crash landed in New York in 2009 killing all 50 passengers - and apparently a Norwegian carrier has withdrawn the model due to safety concerns - while Flybe hold the single biggest global fleet of the ****in plane, that'll calm my nerves
