am ****ed. still blitzed. no washed since saturday stinkin a booze. got the jail on saturday for ****in swearin. u believe that ****. this is gony be 1 shiiiiite day. **** **** ****
Class! My mate got lifted for singing "**** Tha Police" at two coppers in Inverness a good few years ago. I couldn't tell you the last time something like that happened to me. Was probably in 2006 or something when I got lifted for assault and racism. One of the few bonuses of working offshore is that you never have to work with a hangover.
Ive not been arrested for a long time. Last time was the last night (only night) i had an e I got threw through a shop window and the cops arrested me!!!! I said "do you think i asked to have that done to me?" Cops said i must have asked someone to do it to me as on the CCTV footage i was smiling!! Eventually they let me off with it! Good memories
I had the coppers up at mine last night asking for a statement because some guy in the block of flats went ****ing nuts
Last time the pigs turned up at my door was for speeding in the works van. They said my work had informed them I was driving it that day. I just told them they were wrong and I was off sick that day, they must have known I was bullshitting them but there was **** all they could do about it. I was doing 73 in a 50 zone
I had a book sitting on the floor called Medicine and Drugs and he asked to see it Anport, what are the chances do you think of the case going to court? They said they're hoping for break and entry, domestic violence and threatening behaviour or else a breach of the peace as a minimum. Apparently he turned up at the flat and the council had changed the locks. He got a brick and broke in for a jumper and water. They say it's not clear if he actually lives there though.
i had exactly the same thing nev, some cop was talking to me and i swore he said "watch your language, there's ladies present" (this was in Dingwall ) i looked around burst out laughing and was promptly nicked.
who actually speaks like that anymore? he was like a victorian bobby. one of the "ladies" was my sister
When I worked for BT Faults part-time as a student they had me working New Years Eve 2004 until 10pm. They told me that if I never showed for work I'd get the sack, so I showed up at 5pm did about an hours work and thought **** this. I went to the toilet and double dunted two of the ecktos I had in my pocket. Best night of work ever. I was nutted and gibbering away to old ****s phoning in to tell me their landline wasn't working and they needed it fixed for the holiday period. That was actually a ****-hot New Year. I showed up at my mates flat after work and there were loads of student lassies in their bra and panties in the corridor of the flats squirting each other with cream from the tin. We ended-up getting them all into my mates flat still in their underwear to take drugs with us. Nothing that good will ever happen to me ever again.
The copper asked what movie we were watching and I said gamer and told him it's ****. He said the worst movie he's watched is Vanilla Sky, without thinking I started laughing and said only ****s watch that
You'd think coppers can be alright, but only if they have to be nice to you. When my car got robbed by gyppos the copper who came to my house went on a rant about pikeys and how they're all "Theiving bastards" for about 20mins. Turns out they stole his car too
At least my car was only worth a 12 pack of crisps and a slap in the face. His was only 2 1/2 years old and the way he spoke about it I suspected he had some sort of unnatural attraction to it.
To be fair, they were pretty good to us. But I know how bastarding the ****s can be. Breaking my wrist and dumping me at the hospital straight from the cells, then still charged me
a friend of a friend was a uniform copper - Id met him a few times out on the piss and he was alright ; even though he knew of the pharmocological experiments that were going on...anyway , he was a mad Clash fan , and he arranged to come round to mine to collect a load of Clash bootlegs and live tapes....I warned him in advance I` d have some of the lads round at that time getting tore into a variety of substances( wasnt a problem for him ) ...but I NEVER WARNED THEM.......door goes , I bring him into the living room ; ah,guys meet "john"
