Was at a big family gathering last week for a couple of days in Blackpool, where one one of my uncles lives. My granny made a comment to a shop assistant who accused her of being racist, my granny is 88..here's what happened Debenhams in Blackpool Granny to shop assistant - Excuse me hen, I seen a lovely toap in yer Glesga shoap, huv ye goat it here??? Shop Assis - (puzzled look on her face) Ehhhhhh, can you describe what it was like?? Granny - Oh right hen, aye it was a v-neck, so it wis. Shop Assis - Erm, that isn't much help...can you remember what colour it is. Granny - Aye hen, it was a beautiful ****** brown Shop - You can't say that, that's racist. granny - Away an bile yer heid ahm no a racilist, ahm a pensioner hen. Just wish I'd been there, pensioners can say what the **** they like. she still maintains that it is an actual colour name.
****** brown get your granny to sighn up here, we need more outspoken members like that, tell me castleger, whats your grannies attitude to rape?
I was in my parents house a week or so ago, and my mum was on the phone to Sky. She was clearly struggling to hear what the person on the other end said, so I offered to take over the call for her. She said to me, not covering the receiver, 'It's one of those Pakis, I'm not sure they're even speaking English'. I love the older generation.
While in the same store, she was admiring some dress and my aunt said to her - Oh Mum, that's lovely, why dont you get it Granny - Aye, ah could see me wearing that...with that big cock My mum - Mother, what the hell are you taking about???? Gran - That big cock, aff the telly, ye know the big chinky **** wan. My mum - Oh right, you mean Gok
Ive often considered that we need to reintroduce the word " niggardly " into everyday language ; seems the only person who can get away with it is stephen fry. <niggardlymuir>
I miss this place when I can't be a violently racist rapist. Best one I heard was when my mate was blacked up he went into "Reptiles on the Green" and tried to buy a scorpion the wee lassie said "Sorry, I can't sell you that, you're intoxicated" My mate deadpanned her and said "Does that mean black?"
my gran says ****** brown. my grandad went into his newsagents a couple of years ago and said to the bloke; "my granddaughter says i cant call you's pakis" "i'm indian Mr. LR (Senior (v))" "are you! fantastic! i spent time in the indian army! i hate pakis!" they get on like a house on fire now
At T in the Park I was sitting outside King Tuts skinning-up and there were these four teenage lassies sitting next to me. All looking like fairly innocent, normal girls. One of them goes "Let's go see Jay-Z" and another went "Nah, he's a fat ****** with big lips"
