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OK, It's Tesco's Beefburger Jokes Time...

Discussion in 'Charlton' started by Tewkesbury Addick, Jan 16, 2013.

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  1. Tewkesbury Addick

    Tewkesbury Addick Active Member

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    A woman has been admitted to hospital after eating Tesco's beefburgers.

    Doctors say her condition is 'stable'.

    ........................................................................................................

    I took a packet of Tesco's beefburgers out of my freezer - they looked a very strange colour, and I thought - "they're off!"

    ........................................................................................................

    Tesco's have announced that in future, their beefburgers will have the have the contents analysed as follows -

    Protein, Carbohydrate, Fat, Sugar, Sodium, Shergar.


    You heard them here first...<laugh>
     
    #1
    Tewkesbury Addick, Jan 16, 2013
  2. The Kish

    The Kish Well-Known Member

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    I've seen some truly awful ones around including 'Morrissey now thinks meat is Red Rum'.
     
    #2
    The Kish, Jan 16, 2013
  3. Captain Blackaddick

    Captain Blackaddick Well-Known Member

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    'Unexpected item in bagging area'

    Yeah, a ****ing horse
     
    #3
    Captain Blackaddick, Jan 16, 2013
  4. IA

    IA Active Member

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    I'm so hungry I could eat a Tesco burger
     
    #4
    IA, Jan 16, 2013
  5. Captain Blackaddick

    Captain Blackaddick Well-Known Member

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    Horse walks into a bar. Barman says 'Why the long face?' Horse says 'All my mates have been made into Tesco Value Burgers'
     
    #5
    Captain Blackaddick, Jan 16, 2013
  6. Captain Blackaddick

    Captain Blackaddick Well-Known Member

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    A tesco burger, a tesco burger, my kingdom for a Tesco burger
     
    #6
    Captain Blackaddick, Jan 16, 2013
  7. Tewkesbury Addick

    Tewkesbury Addick Active Member

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    ...this one will run and run.
     
    #7
    Tewkesbury Addick, Jan 16, 2013
  8. IA

    IA Active Member

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    You neigh it's true
     
    #8
    IA, Jan 16, 2013
  9. Scratchingvalleycat

    Scratchingvalleycat Active Member

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    The investigation into how horsemeat got into tesco value burgers also found traces of metal in the food processing plant. When asked how it got there, the manager explained "every little BIT helps"
     
    #9
    Scratchingvalleycat, Jan 16, 2013
  10. SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious

    SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news: Andy Carroll has been sold to tesco's.
     
    #10
    SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious, Jan 16, 2013

  11. Tewkesbury Addick

    Tewkesbury Addick Active Member

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    Reminds me of a visit to a French market where there was a sausage stall - there were plenty of samples and the best one I tried was Saucisse de l'Ane.

    Couldn't think what that was and asked the stallholder. Spotting I was English, he trawled through his memory and after a while said "Eeyore - don-key".

    My (vegetarian) friend went very white... :emoticon-0142-happy
     
    #11
    Tewkesbury Addick, Jan 16, 2013
  12. Crack Addick

    Crack Addick Active Member

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    Everyone's complaining about horse meat in their tesco burgers, yet no one complains about the camel-toe primark leggings...
     
    #12
    Crack Addick, Jan 16, 2013
  13. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    Strange that hamburgers is an anagram of Shergar bum.
     
    #13
    ForestHillBilly, Jan 16, 2013
  14. SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious

    SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious Well-Known Member

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    A German supermarket are bringing out a new range of burgers- My Lidl pony.
     
    #14
    SuperChrissyisfantasticPardswasatrocious, Jan 17, 2013
  15. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    Is it true that the Valley caterers bought a load of Tesco burgers to encourage the fans to sing "Goodbye Horse" while they eat?
     
    #15
    ForestHillBilly, Jan 17, 2013
  16. Sat In Greenwich

    Sat In Greenwich Well-Known Member

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    they're not that bad... although they do give you the trots
     
    #16
    Sat In Greenwich, Jan 17, 2013
  17. ForestHillBilly

    ForestHillBilly Well-Known Member

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    It explains why we've been playing too much hoofball.
    Tesco's have to change their recipe now. So they've employed the galloping gourmet.
     
    #17
    ForestHillBilly, Jan 17, 2013
  18. Tewkesbury Addick

    Tewkesbury Addick Active Member

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    Breaking news - the Tesco board have just issued a statement saying that this whole business has been an unbridled disaster...
     
    #18
    Tewkesbury Addick, Jan 17, 2013
  19. ForEverAnAddick

    ForEverAnAddick Member

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    [video]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=472407969461199[/video]

    Josh and Rhys took RHYJO THE HORSE to Tesco to find his family!
     
    #19
    ForEverAnAddick, Jan 17, 2013
  20. IA

    IA Active Member

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    I'm worried about the mafia here. Just found a Tesco value burger on my pillow.
     
    #20
    IA, Jan 17, 2013
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