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OT - any tips for naturally inducing labour?

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by whack&blite, Jan 15, 2013.

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  1. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    I found with mine that a motorbike ride over a frozen ploughed field at 80 mph did the trick!

    Very best of luck to the three of you and remember, the first twenty years are the worst!

    <bubbly>
     
    #21
  2. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Life's a bitch and then you die.
     
    #22
  3. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    You missed out the supporting a team that never wins anything
     
    #23
  4. LTF

    LTF Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm, Brutal.........!!!!!!
     
    #24
  5. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Glad we're providing a positive atmosphere and impression for this young family! <ok>

    Nobody mentioned the loneliness FYI... The loneliness, even when you're surrounded by people...
     
    #25
  6. whack&blite

    whack&blite Active Member

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    Yes, the little guy doesn't have a clue that he has a lifetime of supporting a team that never wins anything ahead of him.

    And the cycle continues...
     
    #26
  7. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    You never know but I'm fairly certain once I've passed we will win the treble so he might be ok mate.
     
    #27
  8. whack&blite

    whack&blite Active Member

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    Planning on going any time soon?! ;)
     
    #28
  9. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    No but you never know when that bastard up there will hold your name card up! no doubt with a grin on his face when it's mine, I'm not looking forward to what he has in store for the challenge in which I finally buckle but I'm braced for it I tell you.
     
    #29
  10. whack&blite

    whack&blite Active Member

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    Very true, very true.
     
    #30

  11. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    I predict 2037... Your newly built fence fails to keep out the revolting throngs, and the alarm system just alerts others to your potential demise...
     
    #31
  12. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    I have a secret also but the person that comes through the door first may find the last moments of his existance someone unpleasant.
     
    #32
  13. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    I see your rep is on the climb.
     
    #33
  14. No Kane No Gain

    No Kane No Gain Well-Known Member

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    Blowjobs and lots of 'em <ok>

    And if you don't think she'll buy that then hoovering and cooking is still worth a shout <whistle>
     
    #34
  15. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me

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    All the best for the little ones arrival

    Think the female having the orgasms is much more likely to make the uterus contact ... than the male having one

    Worked well for me .... twice

    & a lovely way to get things going ;)
     
    #35
  16. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    using the word uterus is far to scientific when suggesting a bonk will do the trick
     
    #36
  17. Santiago Munez

    Santiago Munez Well-Known Member

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    Curry, scary films, make her jump, sex?
    Not in that order
     
    #37
  18. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me

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    did I mention a bonk ?
     
    #38
  19. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    Not as such but I wasn't being narky about it mate.
     
    #39
  20. 2010 tops dog

    2010 tops dog Well-Known Member

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    I am in the same position my little one is due tomorrow but I recon it will be late first one was ten days late, its the longest few weeks of the pregnancy but will be worth the wait,currys, long walks might help
    Good luck
     
    #40
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