Getting ready for Friday already... please log in to view this image An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, “No, I’d like to see something more special.” At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought out another ring. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000″ the jeweler said. The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man, seeing this, said, “We’ll take it.” The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man said, “By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.” he said. Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.” “I know,” said the old man, “But let me tell you about my weekend!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Son: Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl. Father: That's great son. Who is she? Son: It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter. Father: Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister. The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later: Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter! Father: That's great son. Who is she? Son: It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter. Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying. Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father! The mother hugs him affectionately... Mother: My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father!
My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend.
What's the difference between a Man-U fan, a Liverpool fan and a vibrator? A Man-U fan has a real dick .
