I was playing once and I heard my coach comment that my speed was deceiving, I was actually slower than I looked.
I played left back for my old works team.... I asked the manager why he kept playing me there "Because you are left footed". ......news to me.
I suppose that was inevitable Most folk would have taken that as a compliment that I was equally comfortable with either foot.....the truth of the matter was that he wasn't a very astute manager.
Our coach used to try to motivate us by telling us we needed to win so that he could have the cash to buy some new players ...
When a friend of mine told me he'd got the job of coaching a reputable team I was a bit surprised and exclaimed, 'Are you having me on?' He replied 'Well I'll give you a trial, but I can't promise you anything.'
I told my friend I was taking the train to France for a trial. He said "Eurostar?", I said thanks very much, I try my best.
On starting to play football, I rang up my local club. I said: 'Is that the local football club?' He said: 'It depends where you're calling from.'
I was in a restaurant with family and friends the other night and I surprised them all by ordering the whole meal in perfect Mandarin Chinese. It was a French restaurant.
One night after dining alone in a Paris restaurant and, upon consuming a bottle of red wine plus a few liqueurs, I realized I was the last person there except for a chap sleeping at one of the tables, so I called the proprietor over and asked for my bill. "Would monsieur care for another drink?" he asked. "No thanks" I said, "I imagine you want to close up - why don't you send that other fellow home?" "Well, I should," he said, "but each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and pays it again" ...
My dog has no nose. Anyway, back to Rami Gershon. Sounds like a religious holiday of obligation. Ah, Rami Gershon starts tomorrow, a whole week of walking backwards, eating nothing but tripe during the hours of darkness, having a haircut on tuesday and wearing two pairs of braces.
If you put Messi's best bits up on u tube would they look like Paddy. Show five minutes of the best of both and Paddy would come out best.
