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Anyone have experience of writing a book?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Aberdeenarsenal, May 9, 2011.

  1. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Go on sword, write another thread about me and your gay videos clips.

    You know you want to...
     
    #21
  2. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    did you see the threads about you me and dev the other night ? bollo got a thread all to himself . what a ****in sad **** that its constipation was
     
    #22
  3. EDGE

    EDGE Guest

    Was?

    Did he get the chop <laugh>
     
    #23
  4. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Was that the child porn one? What a sad little **** that **** was.
     
    #24
  5. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    ya ..i was out of my head after a day and nite on the piss. didnt even respond to the twat
     
    #25
  6. THe Mighty Huth Rocks

    THe Mighty Huth Rocks New Member

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    Anyone have experience of writing a book?

    No, but i once wrote a car off, if that helps?
     
    #26

  7. Psychosomatic

    Psychosomatic Well-Known Member

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    Right so.

    My mistake, I just assumed you were writing something factual.

    Anyway, you&#8217;re not going to get into any bother with the example you just gave. That kind of stuff is fine (although Goodluck Jonathon&#8217;s effort was a stormer).

    And yes, of course, you can freely reference buildings and monuments. In fiction, just so long as the work is clearly marked as such, you can get away with almost anything - within a semblance of reason.

    If you find yourself floundering, however, just remember to add plenty of gratuitous sex (incest is always a crowd-pleaser, the more violently bleak the better) and a seemingly meaningful quote at the beginning of each chapter. You&#8217;ll be sorted.
     
    #27
  8. Aberdeenarsenal

    Aberdeenarsenal Member

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    Much appreciated man, problem is my idea has a guy and his uncle....may be time to introduce 2 long lost sisters who get it on.

    Also thanks a bunch for that book with publishers and agents. Away to get myself a copy.
     
    #28
  9. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    I wrote my autobiography a few years back. It has sold well and was shortlisted for the Noble Prize.

    Just stick to facts and you'll be ok.
     
    #29
  10. RebelBhoy

    RebelBhoy Moderator Staff Member

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    Noble prize?

    malapropism is not dead.
     
    #30
  11. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Racist bigot <ok>
     
    #31
  12. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    You sound very clever
     
    #32
  13. RebelBhoy

    RebelBhoy Moderator Staff Member

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    I never said anything bad about the people of Malapropia.
     
    #33
  14. RebelBhoy

    RebelBhoy Moderator Staff Member

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    No Sir. I am a dumbass. I do know smart folk though.
     
    #34
  15. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    My apologies, you did not <ok>

    Is Malapropia in Europe?
     
    #35
  16. staggie

    staggie Well-Known Member

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    stalker alert :bandit:
     
    #36
  17. RebelBhoy

    RebelBhoy Moderator Staff Member

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    Ireland......
    "WHERE IN GLASGOW IS MALAPROPRIA TIMMY?"
     
    #37
  18. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    Excellent, a new victim.

    Tell me about yourself rebelBhoy. If you don't I'll find out anyway. I am the master stalker of not606.
     
    #38
  19. Psychosomatic

    Psychosomatic Well-Known Member

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    Now you're talking. Make them under twelve and you'll triple sales.


    No worries about the book recommendation thing, by the way, you're welcome. As a resource, it's fairly outstanding.

    Plus, if you're starting from scratch, you'll find a list of just about every English language publication you can think of (and many more besides), with easy links to submission guidelines and the name of any relevant contact you may need. If you're prepared to put in the hours (for limited financial reward to begin with), then getting your name in print with any number of the weird magazine titles you may stumble upon is well worth the effort.

    Online journals still hold less professional cache, as you might expect - although this will change and is, in fact, already slowly changing &#8211; so any article submitted and accepted by a (paper/physical/in your hand) magazine is a merit badge worth seeking.

    Editors and publishers at the higher end of the scale tend to be unimaginative, risk-averse and fearful and will usually always be looking for a body of (published) work.

    This isn&#8217;t specifically related to book publishing and fiction, of course &#8211; I&#8217;m talking more about magazines and newspapers - but it still more or less holds true that a publishing house will generally look upon the established author with a growing track record with more favour.

    The main thing, of course, is to get writing. So many people reckon they can do it, that it must be really easy &#8211; and they simply can&#8217;t and it simply isn&#8217;t. It requires massive self-discipline and the thickest of skins (to absorb and dismiss those early, painful rejections).

    Someone hand me a violin.....
     
    #39
  20. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    if i took steven gerrards auto biography and changed his name to mine would that be ok to release as my first novel
     
    #40

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