It was Christmas Eve and Father OâToole, who loved his rooster and ten hens decided he would go to the hen house behind the Church to feed the birds only to discover the Cock was missing. He knew the village was infamous for Cock fights so he decided he would question his parishioners at Midnight mass that evening. 'Has anybody got a cock?' he asked during his sermon? All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Most of the women stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. Father OâToole fainted. Any XMas Jokes.Ho Ho Ho
Nearly a xmas joke so bare with me: My missus is really pissed off with me again. Just last night while she was fast asleep, I gently removed her Tampax and replaced it with a xmas party popper, leaving the string hanging out. I tell you this for nowt, our lass really has no ****ing sense of humour.
Heard it for the first time today Gil ,did'nt realise it was an old one. It probably took a long time to cross the water. Lets hope Roman the RED knows rain dears noses are out of joint tomorrow.
Should be a Friday night jokes page every week to cheer ourselves up before the big event. Having said that we probably need the jokes page after the bloody football at the mo.
Ha Ha.That Bollix. Back in the sixties he used to come over to Dublin annualy for an organised walk from the city centre to the old Baldoyle racecourse.Me Ma never missed one.Good job I am good looking.
"As good as this bar is," says the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth one." "Well, Angus," says the Englishman, "at my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two." "Ahhh, that's nothin'," says Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another ... all the drinks you want, actually. Then when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid good and proper, all free and on the house!" The Englishman and Scotsman are suspicious of the claims. "Did this actually happen to you, Paddy?" "Well, not to me meself personally, no," Paddy admits, "but it did happen to me sister."
