Try switching it off then back on again. If that doesn't work, keep on doing it until it does work. Alternatively, you could ask ER.
Can you transfer it over from another computer, ps if you get it to run and it finds things, always select the default option (cure for malicious and skip for suspicious)
I was going to ask that, but I didn't for fear of being mocked by everybody, well everybody apart from ER obviously.
Failing that, connect directly to the router/modem with an ethernet cable. You do have an ethernet cable don't you?
I think he is having you on, I don't think there is even such a thing/word as an "ethernet" and if there is, there shouldn't be.
It normally, but not always, is printed on the cable itself - summat like "ethernet cat 5", or category 5, or category 6.