Dear Mr Comolli

We know you've been tracking our transfer targets and We're sick of hiding them. So here is a list of players who Newcastle United have been tracking so you can tell Kenny to put in a bigger bid first

Emile Heskey
Titus Bramble
Marcelino
Eric Djemba Djemba

Oh and Damien, please don't take James Perch of us. He's our only hope of survival next year.

Yours,
NUFC

 

Dear Mr Comolli,


**** OFF.


Love Chappaz.

 

Also, Carlton Cole is one of our main targets.

 

Also, tell him we're giving Shola a new deal, so he'll have to get in there quick!

 

He's never going to read this, since I'm pretty sure Graham Carr isnt a member...

 

Spiderman-Mask, what the ****!? You can't just go and tell him all our targets! Now he's going to beat us to them and make Liverpool unbeatable!

 

I hear there's a young prodigy just starting out in Argentina called Juan Sebastian Veron

 

NUFC should release a statement saying that they're scouting a new footballing prodigy who will be twice the player of Messi, but he lives in a remote African jungle.

Comolli won't be able to resist trying to find him, and then he will be lost forever. Everybody wins.

 

I'm sorry I panicked! I just hope he doesnt realise how fantastic Xisco is. We had to loan him out to hide him from Comolli

 

Stop telling him! Lucky he didnt find out about Sol Campbell...

 

Alan Smith the goalscoring machine. Oh and Ade Akinbeyi here weve put in a 15mill bid for him

 

I've heard that we're also looking at a young Jimmy Bullard

 

Spiderman-Mask you're really putting your foot in it, when he looks Xisco up and see's how he's banging the goals in we'll never see him back here again.

 

what is this referring to may I ask?

 

I have noticed that there seems to be a strong correlation between the players Newcastle and Comolli are linked with but I don't think it's recent. We're on the lookout for set positions, like a Holding midfielder, a winger and a LB whereas from what I've seen Comolli is linked with looking at Right backs, Strikers, Attacking mids pretty much everyone.

I'd take what you hear about Comolli with a pinch of salt, the "source of information" from these stories could anything as little as Comolli telling a friend "Yes I think Demba Ba is a good player," which would automatically go into the Mirror as "Comolli plans £20m audacious swoop for Demba Ba."

Also I think a lot of the targets he's linked with are from his time at Spurs too, Writers will often look in archives for past stories or transfer rumours when looking for comparisons.

 

I heard we were bidding for Asamoah Gyan.

 

We are also very interested in this fella too -> Alejandro Faurlin

 

haha rep

 

Cheers mate


Successful Rep return too