Strangling Kojak

I'm sure the **** from Dundee was giving Telly Savalas a good hiding in his bunk above me last night. Dirty ****.

The ****ing bunks were squeaking like he was performing experiments on lab rats.

 

sore arse this morning venom?

 

**** sake, can he no do it the shower? we caught a guy ****in in Ibiza, me ma mate and 2 burds aw seen him. was funny as ****. ma mate just shouted STOP ****ING! and he ****in shat it.

his room door was wide open the daft ****

 

I always go to the toilet if I need to rope the pony offshore. Some ****s don't care though. Bet his ****ing sheets are like a starched shirt. He looks like a strategically shaved gorilla too. I'm saying **** all to him about it. I'll end up getting raped.

 

A guy had really long luxurious hair but one day he walks into work with a shaved shiney napper.
A black guy in his work asks him "that's a great hair do, where did you get that done?"
The white guy replies "just down the road at the usual barbers, ask for a Telly, it's only £2!"
"A Telly?" the black Guys asks?
"Aye Telly Savalas" the white guy says "you know Kojak?"
"Awe right gotcha" the black guy says "i'm going donw for one just now"

So the black guys goes down to the barbers and asks for a Telly Savalas.
The barber gets to work and shaves the blackguys head with a bic razor and buffs up the black guys head.

"Right" say's the barber "that'll be £20 mate"

"£20!??!?!, I was told a Telly Savalas was a fiver!?!?!

"Aye" says the barber "but yours is a coloured telly!"

 

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'

 

Am gonnie boot yer plums

 

Tobin is the master at bootin plums.

 

Big Bible John. Is he no back in court again? For the Vicki whits her name's murder death kill?

 

tobin bootin that reporter in the plums is one of my favorite news clips.

 

if i was him i'd be claiming as many as possible, he'll never get out so he might as well up his body count. i mean ffs he's only got 2 or 3 at the moment doesnt he? thats not going to get top trumps on the phone.

 

Class!

Why do serial killers go for ugly girls sometimes? If you're going to do a job do it properly and get a nice bit of hole at least.

 

because its easier to convince an ugly bird to get into the boot because you "really really like" them

 

Thought it was only meant to be 2 quid, no a fiver. Bollo ya stupid ****

 

That's why I like the Bundy method; blitz them with a crowbar before they know what the **** is going on, that way you don't even have to convince them of anything.

 

I've never seen it

 

watch scotland today more then

they show it every time they mention him along with a photo of him holding up his cat to the camera.

 

nah bundy actually pulled the burds did he not? he was a smooth talker, bit like our very own tobin.

nah maybe am wrong, jst did a wee search on bundy's exploits

 

where's the romance though?