Unanswered Questions Thread AOTAYMD (As Off-Topic As Your Mind Dictates)

How long is a piece of string?

 

Yes, at least they can give rep - well supposedly

 

I don't know, but my piece of string is longer than your piece of string.

 

If Darwin's theory was right, how come there are still mackems?

 

Can somebody please explain to the International Rugby board that you either "Do, or do not - there is no try"

 

Still plenty of Apes too.

 

Using 'Monty Python's The Meaning of Life' theory, if every sperm is indeed sacred, then just how much of a sinner is Tash?

 

Whatever happened to white dog poo?

 

A big one! No saving him, he's beyond redemption.

 

The white dog poo thief

 

By day OTM, by night, the White Dog Poo Thief!!!

 

Question... One day a few years ago I straddled a fence in hopping it (the gate was locked). It was covered in algi and was wet from the rain, and when I attempted to get up and over, I slipped (both feet) and landed on the only two airbags evolution designed for me... Ouch.

Anyway, if by some horrible miracle I got a woman pregnant, and she turns to me in labour and says "you've never felt pain like it"... Am I within my rights to replay this story, or should I keep it to myself?

 

Don't worry, you will know what the pain feels like when DT finds out you got a woman pregnant.

 

Classic

 

Ive always wanted to know if theres a shadow on a wall and you paint the wall the same colour as the shadow is it still there?

 

Nice one

Depends:
1. If you are Peter Pan...
2. If by Shadow you mean the old one from Homeward Bound... In which case I think Shadow would die from the paint fumes. Irresponsible advertising by Dulux really.

I have no idea otherwise!

 

Not if you turn the light out.

 

Thanks private thats cleared it up for me i am peter pan Cheers.

 

Can somebody please tell me if the universe is expanding, then what the **** is it expanding into? What is there now where it's expanding into? And what is THAT called if it's not currently part of the friggin' universe?

I literally lie awake at night on this one, so any genuine help (that I can actually understand) would be gratefully appreciated.

 

Here's one for the battle of the sexes.

Women expect us to lift the toilet seat to do our business, so as not to make a mess and then place it back down when we've finished. STUFF THAT.

If they are the ones who want to sit on the seat, THEY should put the seat down when they require then place it back UP for us when they've finished. Why should we touch it for them to sit on when it's their germs we are touching?

















<lights touch paper and slips away quietly>