1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Obama Reelection Will Bring 1,000 Years Of Darkness

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Medro, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    16,416
    Likes Received:
    356
    Chuck Norris has offered a dire warning to America, claiming that U.S. citizens face "1,000 years of darkness" if President Obama is reelected for a second term in November.

    In a two-minute video posted on his official YouTube channel, which also includes work-out tutorials and promotional appearances for "The Expendables 2," Norris and his wife Gena warn of a "growing concern" that the America we know can be lost forever if Obama is reelected.

    “If we look to history, our great country and freedom are under attack,” Norris says. “We’re at a tipping point and, quite possibly, our country as we know it may be lost forever if we don’t change the course in which our country is headed.”

    Gena then cites the statistic that in 2008 more than 30 million Evangelical Christians stayed home on Voting Day and Obama won.

    She quotes President Ronald Reagan, saying, "You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children’s children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done.”

    Reagan gave his "A Time For Choosing Speech" in 1964 on behalf of then-Republican presidential candidate Barry Goldwater, who eventually lost to Lyndon B. Johnson. Goldwater's campaign was hurt by a lack of support from his own party as well as the unpopularity of his politically conservative positions. Divided Republican party followers decided to stay home rather than vote for a candidate they did not like.

    In January, Norris endorsed Newt Gingrich for president. In May, after Gingrich dropped out of the race, the "Walker, Texas Ranger" actor offered his support to Romney in an article penned for NewsBusters.

    "I believe that Mitt has the skills and organization to defeat Obama and stop his fundamental transformation of America," Norris wrote in an anti-Obama article which invoked the ideals of Abraham Lincoln. "We all know what four more years of increased socialistic decisions would do to our country."

    ------------------------------

    **** that **** I'm headin out there for my holiday and now they're expecting 1,000 years of darkness.

    Not happy. Not happy at all.
     
    #1
  2. Go G YellowScreen

    Go G YellowScreen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    6,610
    Likes Received:
    58
    "Socialistic policies" <laugh>

    There was some mad bint from Nevada on this morning claiming Obama was turning the US of A into a communist state.

    And all because he wants poor people to have access to decent health care <doh>
     
    #2
  3. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    19,250
    Likes Received:
    8,235
    At least you can save on sunscreen.
     
    #3
  4. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2011
    Messages:
    3,450
    Likes Received:
    61
    Well, that's not strictly true to be honest.

    America is a low taxation, small government country, Obama is leading them down the european style of government of high taxes and the state meddling into everything.
     
    #4
  5. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    16,416
    Likes Received:
    356
    Depends how dark it is, you can still get skin damage in cloudy days.
     
    #5
  6. Go G YellowScreen

    Go G YellowScreen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    6,610
    Likes Received:
    58
    Aye, that's communism right enough.

    Actually, it's not even true but hey, what does that matter?
     
    #6

  7. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    57,044
    Likes Received:
    64,088
    Contrary to appearances, they're not all mad. I'd avoid the "Guns n Jesus" mob though. And the Mormons.
     
    #7
  8. Barrie Lochrie

    Barrie Lochrie New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2011
    Messages:
    3,450
    Likes Received:
    61
  9. Medro

    Medro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    16,416
    Likes Received:
    356
    Incorrect. They are! Guns N Jesus mobs and the Mormons are just the worst!
     
    #9
  10. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    38,998
    Likes Received:
    15,200
    Aye but if they didn't act like crazy dicks what would their movies be about?
     
    #10
  11. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    24,877
    Likes Received:
    265
    Didnt really matter who got in.

    Both are inept bungling fannies with no idea.

    Obama is just a showman with no depth at all and Romney is a crook.
     
    #11
  12. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Messages:
    14,620
    Likes Received:
    9,441
    Why are we concerned about what Chuck Doris has to say? I'd thought we'd all agreed on Not 606 that men with neat beards were not to be trusted.
     
    #12
  13. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    15,541
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    Is Chuck being overtly racist with the "darkness" quote?
     
    #13
  14. - SW6 -

    - SW6 - Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    8,349
    Likes Received:
    89
    Exactly what I thought.

    1000 years of the Nation of Islam.
     
    #14
  15. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    57,044
    Likes Received:
    64,088
    I think he was referring to a certain East Anglian camp rock band.
     
    #15
  16. Rustie bugmuncher

    Rustie bugmuncher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    2,257
    Likes Received:
    417
    not historically, the rich in america now pay less tax than at any previous time.
     
    #16
  17. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    May 20, 2011
    Messages:
    20,966
    Likes Received:
    8,593
    A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

    To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

    In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictio...nary.)

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

    Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

    Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    -----------------------

    1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

    ------------------------

    2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

    -------------------

    3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

    -----------------

    4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

    ----------------------

    5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

    ----------------------

    6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

    --------------------

    7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

    -------------------

    8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

    -------------------

    9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

    ---------------------

    10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

    ---------------------

    11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

    ---------------------

    12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

    --------------------

    13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

    -----------------

    14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

    ---------------

    15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

    God Save the Queen!
     
    #17
  18. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    60,635
    Likes Received:
    18,329
  19. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    11,691
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    The beel is strong with Donald Trump on Twitter
     
    #19
  20. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,546
    Likes Received:
    49,167
    <laugh> Apart from number 6! Why would we want them to change to the metric system? That is what Europe have been trying(and parlty succeeding) to do to us for years.
     
    #20

Share This Page