A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as it comes home it rushes and ****s all of the 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. The farmer's getting tense now. Next day he finds the cock ****ing the ducks and the geese. Later, the farmer finds the cock pale, half dead with vultures circling overhead. Farmer says "you deserved it you dirty bastard". The cock opens one eye, looks up and says "ssshhh, they're about to land!"
Paddy goes to the local nurse because he has a severe rash on his balls. She examines him and says "you're going to have to stop ****ing". he says "Why?". she says "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
How do you circumcize a priest? Kick an alter boy on the chin. Whats the difference between George Michael and a microwave? A microwave stops when you open the door. Rose West is bringing out a bag and rubbish and screams,Jesus the arse is after falling out of the bag. Michael Barrymore wanted to play up front for Man United,He was willing to pay ã1 milllion,he wanted 10 pricks behind him and 73,000 arseholes jumping up and down. How many Man United fans does it take to pave a drive-way. It depends on how thinly you slice them. Its been reported that there is no need for Man United fans to buy next seasons away kit,they only need to attach a rubber penis to their heads and the whole world will know who they support. Whats the difference between a Man United fan and a vibrator?,a Man United fan is a real dick. Whats the difference between Rio Ferdinand and a carpet?A carpet doesn't get uppity when you beat it.
