Friggin on the forum

Ahoy! Morons! Listen to this then!

It was on the good ship Elland
Full of dirty Northern men and
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast was a mammoth bell-end

captain Elmo owned this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel ****
From one place to another



Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
There was **** all else to do

The captains name was Whitejock Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play
On his ****in' organ

The first mate's name was Gary Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He lied and lied until he tied
Himself into a stupor

Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
There was **** all else to do

Hold on! Give it some BOLLOCKS!!

LIW and Kissa felt randy
By Christ, they were gay and dandy
So Ristac crushed their cocks with a jagged rock
For cumming in his shandy

The cabin boy was Josh
He was too ****in' posh
So they stuffed his ass with broken glass
because he gave the skipper a nosh

Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
There was **** all else to do

Ahoy! JLA

Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
There was **** all else to do

The Captain's wife was Jerel
To **** she was not able
So the dirty ****s, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table

PAGS the captains daughter
She fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters

Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
Friggin' on the forum'
There was **** all else to do

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Credit where it is due, you are wasted on here.
But FFS you have way too much time on your hands.

 

****in' hell TC

 

Poor little geezer, very small cock and when he goes for a piss has to use a tweezer

 

Good one TC. Do you ever sleep or work?

 

Variations on a theme, but cheers TC for adding some colour to a rather drab & dreary Friday.

 

Try this one for size

I used to work in deptford in an old department store
I used to work in deptford but I don't work there any more
A lovely geezer lady came for some nails, nails from the store,
Nails she wanted, screwed she got,
I don't work there any more!!!

Verses 2 to 100 over to you

I used to work in deptford in an old department store
I used to work in deptford but I don't work there any more
A lovely geezer lady came for some carpet, carpet from the store,
Carpet she wanted, underfelt she got,
I don't work there anymore

... Apples she wanted, cock she got

.... Milinary from the store,
Hat she wanted, helmet she got...

 

I prefer this one.

With a packet of crisps and a cheeky smile
Dave Jones is a ****ing *****phile

 

Dave Jones is having a party, bring your jelly and smarties

 

No wonder he got cross earlier this week. Did anything about him ever end up in court?

By they way just thought given recent events, the phrase savility in all things now takes on a completely new meaning!!!!