You're the boss

OK guys.. imagine a scenario where Pards is given the bullet tomorrow and Mike turns up on your doorstep asking for you to manage the Toon. He tells you that he will give you £10m to spend in January and that any additional transfer money has to come from player sales as budgets are tight.

How would you proceed?

What I'd do is as follows:

- Sack Ranger
- Sell Simmo (maybe only getting £1m due to contract length)
- Sell Santon (looks like he is angling for a move) for.. say £7-8m
- Loan out Campbell to a struggling PL team to get game time in the prem


- Buy Debuchy for, say £7m if needs be
- Buy Douglas for, say £4m
- Buy Pieters for, say £5m
- Buy another development CB (maybe Dragovic) for say £2m
- Buy a 'Fitz Hall' type CB for the lower leagues for next to nothing (older player etc..)

I'd also angle to bring in another specialist coach to work on our set piece play...

The result would be an 'on budget' spend on transfers... ok slightly up on wages maybe but overall a stronger defence with an eye on developing one of our starlets ready for next season.

.... so how would you proceed....?

 

Sell Santon and buy Debuchy for the same money ?

Get rid of a young player who has made the difficult adaptation to the Premiere League and replace him with an older player who has not ?

What's the logic there ?

 

Oh, and we can sack Ranger if we like, but we will have to pay his salary til the end of his contract, or damages in lieu

 

it's based on my belief that Santon wants away in the summer and will force a move. I have a gut feel about it... and a big gut like mine carries a lot of weight...

 

Right, well if you're the boss I guess you can listen to your gut. Sounds like its just generating **** to me though (see what I did there ?)

 

Does the players wages,times that by the length of the contract have to come out of the 10million pot ??
because that's the way Ashley works

your £10million might get a couple of Fitz Halls I'm afraid

 

Not fair. We spent £10m on Cise and have called it £10m, not £20m or whatever it would be with the wages included.

 

If I was boss, I'd make Shola my assistant. With that instant popularity move paying dividends, I would then make sexual advances towards Cabaye. If he rejects my affections, he's captaining the next barge out of here, together with some negative headlines about his antics because me and Shola are so damn lovable... If he accepts, well let's just say it would be mutually beneficial...

Other than that silly daydream, I'd tell Anita he'll never play CM under my watch, only RB/LB or possibly CDM shoudl the need arise. If he wants to leave, fair enough...
Gosling would be gone, plain and simple.

I'd retain Simpson for rotation purposes, and bring in any CB Mr Carr has tapped up (defo don't mean Alan here...) and then I'd angle for an extra winger like Tom Ince.

After that, I'd make them watch uplifting disney songs before matches and sit in my office like Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson waiting for them to inspire themselves if we were ever losing at half-time (not going to happen)... After winning the league, cup and Champions league, a statue would be erected (not talking about the aforementioned daydream )...

Easy.

 

Bring in Mbiwa and sell off Ranger and Xisco would be all i would need to do before leading the team to CL andwinning the quad next season...this management stuffs easy in your head.

 

Sack Gun Toting Nile. I'm pretty sure we can do this cost free with the ammunition he has provided. Just wait for his next error of judgement (won't be long) and give him the bullet. Indeed I thought his tweet on Sunday was offensive "if I was fully fit I could make a difference to this game". I was most offended by that! It should have read "if I wasn't such a massive cock end, I might have been able to get involved in games like this. Why am I such a prick?"

I've seen no evidence to suggest wor Davide wants out so I'd like to keep him.

I think we go and buy Jose E and Simon Kjaer in January for a combined fee of 10m (Mike can make this a reality with his hard bargaining). Then come the summer we complete our squad with the signings of Erik Pieters, Tom Ince (Obers replacement) and Carroll. Then we have Jose E, D Santon, Raylor, Simpson, Pieters as full back options. Kjaer, Colo, Saylor, Pieters, Willo (for really desperate times!) as centre back options.

Sell Xisco to a gay nightclub for 50p so he can appear as a dancer, sell Obertan to a cheese factory so they can extract the delicious brie from that massive heed, sell Gosling to any ****er who'll take him.

Jobs a goodun.

EDIT: This is based on previous 6 month year old information that Kjaer had fallen out with his coach at Wolfsburg. Probably happy as Larry David now but **** it.

 

Forget Tom Ince, old red nose is supposedly showing interest now..............BASTARD

 

I thought this was going to be about RED

 

I think Fergie reads this board.

 

The old Man Utd connection working I feel...

 

Sack Ranger.
Give Shola an assistant manager-player role, with the assistant manager part of the contract running for three decades.
Ask Shearer to join my coaching team with a view to helping Shola in management when I'm done.
Buy Debuchy and Douglas for combined 11million?
Put Bigiramana and Ferguson in my first team plans.
Tell Ba and Cisse that only one of them will ever be on the pitch at the same time, they will either play 4-4-2 with Ba or 4-3-3 with a proper left winger (fergie), so to ****ing deal with it.
Sell Sammy, Vuckic, Gosling for a combined 3millionish?
Give any leftover money to Alan Carr to do as he pleases with it (buy whoever he wants).
Tell the players I love them before every game.


This is all 100% genuine.

 

Wouldn't let Shearer in the building if I was the boss - - that's just inviting calls for him to replace me.

And I wouldn't sell Sammy yet.

 

No one would be calling for me to be replaced when I win the league

ANd Sammy, imo, will never make it, just trying to picture him playing for us in 5 years time and I can't imagine him being any more of an impact on us than he is now.

 

You may be right but you may not. He's very fast and very tall. Igf he puts on 30 pounds of muscle that will be a troublsome combo for a CB to deal with. If his composure improves slightly as well, he could be very useful. Or not.

And I didn' realise you were going to win the league every year

 

Indeed. I'd love to put it down to Man U having someone trailing Graham Carr but I suspect they have been watching with interest for a while. I'm sure Paul has been invited in for a glass of red.

I say again BASTARD

They should have moved when I pinpointed him last season. Pards should get himself on not606, he'd discover all sorts

 

please log in to view this image