Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen? About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese. I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse. Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 17 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the hot tub. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret. My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother. I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
this might be up your street hash http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5830947-natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes
I got a job on Derek Acorah's ghost hunter programme, Most Haunted, and hid behind a curtain tugging one off and I jizzed all over the back of Yvette Fielding's head as she walked past. She screamed out and said "The spirit of Lord Feltchingham has just produced ectoplasm from the other side and it has landed on me!" Little did she know. Licked her fingers clean an' all.
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. What the Feck!!??
I've started wearing big thick socks in bed to keep my litlle tootsies warm. That's weird, eating semen is normal.
