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Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Discussion in 'Horse Racing' started by Ron, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    She's the best, Cyc, best thing that ever happened to me. Don't ask me how I ever managed to snare her....<laugh>
     
    #241
  2. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
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    "Wunderbar das Jackpot". Pissed myself laughing at this:

    [video=youtube;XVBGj6x32P0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVBGj6x32P0[/video]
     
    #242
  3. rainbowview

    rainbowview Well-Known Member

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    Odddy <laugh> <rofl> HOWLING
     
    #243
  4. hawkeye

    hawkeye Well-Known Member

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    #244
  5. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
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    #245
  6. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    Hawkeye: Genius! <laugh> <laugh>

    (Don't think I'll bother asking one of these up-and-coming artists to sketch me, Christ knows what they'd do, Frankenstein would be a non-starter.......<yikes>).
     
    #246
  7. TopClass

    TopClass Well-Known Member

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    Crying.

    I love the daft ones.
     
    #247
  8. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    FROM THE ROLLS-ROYCE STAFF MAGAZINE DERBY, ENGLAND



    Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)..

    Scientists at Rolls Royce UK built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.


    The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

    American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.


    Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

    When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

    The horrified American engineers sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

    You're going to love this......


    Rolls Royce UK responded with a one-line memo:


    "Defrost the chicken."
     
    #248
  9. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    Tamerlo: <laugh> Wonder if Oddy has anything to do with the testing of the German version of this gadget? Probably using a foot-long barbecued Bratwurst instead of a chicken?
    please log in to view this image
     
    #249
  10. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
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    You wouldn't believe how expensive it is to perform bird ingestion tests on engines - definitely a test you want to get "right first time" <ok>

    I experienced a simlar test at an Airframer a few years ago - well, I say experienced, I was just walking past the building when I heard a massive bang and saw some feathers floating over the fence <laugh>
     
    #250

  11. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    Bloody hell!............<yikes>
     
    #251
  12. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member
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    Is it Thailand where you can just go into a field and pay to blow up a cow? Certainly somewhere in the far east does it - and then people have a go at the cruelty involved in horse racing <doh>
     
    #252
  13. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    Jongleur, no, the bratwurst comes out of Oddy's trousers- except it's only a weedy chipolata!<laugh>
     
    #253
  14. GGW

    GGW Well-Known Member

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    You can blow up a cow!? <yikes> Bloody hell I'd like to know where the hell allows you to do that, as I'm booking my hols soon <whistle>
     
    #254
  15. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    Dan: Erm, don't think it's Thailand, never heard of such a thing there. If they are in any way cruel it is towards the old elephant, never liked the way they treated this fine animal, but blowing-up cows, that's new to me.............
     
    #255
  16. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
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    "I might not have much pet, but it can fill a pram" - Sid the sexist <laugh>
     
    #256
  17. Cyclonic

    Cyclonic Well Hung Member

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    I bought the wife a Memory Stick.

    It's great, she hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.



    Wife says to husband. "You only ever want sex when you're drunk."

    Husband says. "That's not true....... sometimes I want a kebab."
     
    #257
  18. Chaninbar

    Chaninbar The Crafty Cockney

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    The wife asked for my help to stopping her sucking her thumb. Was easy enough I drew a cock on it.
     
    #258
  19. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #259
  20. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    I don't know if anyone is interested but Gordon Ramsey has opened a new restaurant on the Moon. Apparently the food is amazing but there's no atmosphere.

    A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mum, hesitating for a while, "I'm not sure, you should have asked me last night; it was at the tip of my tongue."

    It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. "Oh, I don't know" she said . "Something with diamonds would be nice!." I've bought her a pack of playing cards

    American, French, English and Polish man, sat on top of Blackpool tower, the American throws loads of money of the top, they asked, "Why did you do that?", the yank said, we have way to much money in America so I can afford to do that. So the French man empties 20 bottles of chamaign over the side, "We have loads in France so I can do that. The Polish man looks at the English man and says, "DONT YOU ****ING DARE"
     
    #260

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