Ah, the infamous words of pee wee Herman, just before he was caught beating the bishop in a theatre. Tis Friday and we used to have aregular Friday joke day thread so thought I would bring one back. Corny, dirty, witty jokes are all welcome!
That's truly bizarre! I was just about to post a Friday joke thread and low and behold, you beat me to it, pussy cowboy. feller walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, I can't pronounce my Ts or my Fs". Doctor says "Well you can't say fairer than that".
I always knew we were connected RHC. I'll go corny.... Guy 1:somebody said you sounded like an owl. Guy 2:who?…
Little Johnny is in school. The teacher asks the class what their their daddy does, and she goes around the class and eventually comes to Johnny. Johnny says his daddy dresses up in womens clothing and works in a gay bar as an escort. The teacher says really, Johnny says no, he really plays for Manchester United, but I was too embarrassed to say.
How many hands does Helen Keller need to masturbate with? 2, one to play wiht herself and one to moan! thank you thank you your far to ( or is it too ) kind.
Animal rights campaigners who are against animal drug testing really need to get off their high horse.
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that." The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
probably heard them but give it a go. 3 men are in the desert, starving when they find a camel.......... 1st man says "we can eat it.... lets use our football teams to decide on what to eat from it... i support hearts so ill eat the heart".... 2nd man says "i support Liverpool so ill eat the liver"... 3rd man says "i support arsenal but ive lost my appetite" 3 nuns die in car crash and get to gates of heaven , where god says " ok i will ask you 1 question each and if you get it right then you may enter. God asks 1st nun " what was the names of the 1st man and woman ? " , nun replies " adam and eve " , god replies " correct you may pass " , God asks 2nd nun " where did adam and eve live ? " nun replies " garden of eden " , god replies " correct you may pass " God asks 3rd nun " what was the 1st thing eve said to adam ? " , nun replies " mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats a hard one " , god replies " correct your in ! "
when i got banned for the 8th time on old 606 i wrote the following needless to say my account was reinstated by the mods after a campagin by fellow lfc 606 pub thread members such as the erstwhile el jeficto and other such luminarys..... but the account that published this article didn't survuve for some reason
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
[TABLE="width: 100%"] [TR] [TD]Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today. The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?" "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]
Two Thai girls asked RHC if hed like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! He agreed, and they were right. once they all stripped off they found six matching balls!
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day; he comes across a bike with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breests. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and fcuks her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts "All right, that's enough, I'll do the bloody dishes!"
