Help me track someone down

some knob jockey owes me $500 from australia and he's dingyin ma emails. (he's still in Oz) so a want to phone his dad up and put the ****ers up him. I found him on that 192.com but u need to pay to get the ****s number. is there any free ones out there?

 

nah marvin

 

well you'll be putting the ****ers up no one you piss addled skeletal tramp!

 

your son owes me 300 quid and i want it by the end of the week. every day your late its goin up 50 quid awrite bawbag? <fone goes dead>

naw seriously the **** is really pissin me off. he's owed me since ****in august ffs. he also owes another **** about 2 ****in grand

 

Did anyone read Marvin's interview in the papers at the weekend? They weren't paid a penny for being filmed! Imagine making that much of a **** of yourself and not even get a few bob for it.

Even Lee Naylor got THAT bit right.

 

Too right ... why pay them - ****in scum!

 

He's left his girlfriend because she was jealous of his fame.

 

Did you see them in the papers at teh weekend?

The put the wee hairy in a posh frock...ye canny polish a turd!

 

I never seen her pictures but man he's a stud.

 

ad shag dayna

 

you'd shag the hole in a dolphins head nev

 

I only seen the 2nd episode of the programme. I couldn't understand one word that girl said. Do they all speak like that in Kilmarnock?

 

aye tina. they're all full of smack over there!

 

Is that why they were all so thin?

 

ad shag most of the burds in it infact, junkies or no, as long as the didny have fishy holes

 

Is there a specific criteria they must meet Nev? For you to want to shag 'em?

Did that woman off Facebook ever accept your friends request?

 

naw a withdrew ma request, she wisny that nice at all.

criteria - must be a junky, ned, nae job, alky, heavy smoker

 

A keeper then?

 

andy goram

 

How long does it take a mechanic to work out what's wrong with a car that won't start.

Answers on a postcard.