I've stopped speaking to myself since I wrote that nonsence. Imagine if you were so inarticulate that you spoke like that all of the time. You would probably end up friendless or shoot yourself.
I remember when we had Tony Knapp and everyone called him 'Knappy'. Well, it made me laugh, but I was only 8ish at the time.
Lambert = Lambo or Rickie: Barnard = Barnie: Danny Butterfield = Butts: Chaplow = Chappers: Kelvin Davis = KD: Forecast = Useless: Just a few to go on with, any others come to mind?
Nicknames are mainly a man thing (and nothing wrong with that). It's friendly and makes people feel included. Girl at work calls me Frangelina which I don't mind at all. In football, it has the added advantage of being something easily called and recognised across a pitch, especially if there are several Daves and Lees in both teams.
Then you get commentators or press alleging (making up) unweildly nicknames for foreign players; "They call him the Silver Feather," "They call him The Siberian Express" "They call him The Black Arrow" "They call him The Maradonna of the (insert region)" "El llamarlo GOLDENBALLS" etc