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notsosmartspur said:
Arsenal to be Renamed 'North London United.'

Arsenal are facing a lengthy court battle after the Office of Fair Trading launched a probe into the North London giants.

It has been claimed that due to the lack of striking power within the team, the word 'Arsenal' misrepresents the club as a team of 'big guns' and may be fooling fans into supporting the club and buying expensive season tickets. The move comes after a record 38,000 complaints were received by Trading Standards. Arsenal now have 28 days to answer a formal charge.

A club spokesman was incensed by the news. "Arsenal Football Club plan to fight this charge with the utmost vigour. Yes, Bendtner can't hit a barn door and yes, Chamak'h has been a massive waste of money, but we have van Persie playing 12 league games a season for goodness sake! The average height of our first team is 5 feet 4 and we agree that needs addressing, but great things come in small packages.

"Arshavin is a great player, he's just a bit small and can't see over the heads of opposition defenders, especially for set pieces. We play sexy, flowing football, the fact we don't win anything is completely irrelevant."

Understandably, Arsenal's rivals, Tottenham Hotspur, are delighted by the news. "Arsenal sell a lot of season tickets because of their name, a Spurs spokesperson said. "It suggests guns, firing on all cylinders and destruction. Well, Arsenal were toothless last season and we believe many of the floating fans will come to White Hart Lane after a name change.

"We have suggested to the Office of Fair Trading that the club should be renamed, 'North London United.' It's accurate and and concise."

The majority of complaints originated from North London, prompting conspiracy theories; a suggestion completely refuted by Graham Saunders, editor of Tottenham fanzine, '**** Off Back to South London Arsenal'. "Look, we simply believe that Arsenal fans are scumbags, we don't get involved in politics. We have never organised concerted campaigns on social media, local press or fans forums to get Arsenal investigated.

"We believe that Arsenal belong in South London and have been stealing our fans for many years. Anything that makes them **** off back to south London has to be a good thing."

We will keep you up to date on the case and Arsenal's plans to fight the court action. Unless they do what they usually do, move address, leaving whoever to answer the phone and say "nah, sorry, they're not here anymore, they've gone."
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should be renamed the South east London Nomads
 
From the Terry case:
"Duncan Penny, prosecuting: You used to play for Arsenal; the crowd doesn't make any noise at the Emirates, do they?
<laugh>
 
probably bullshit, but there's rumours suggesting that united have put in a £36mill bid for Lucas Moura.(also rumours saying it's been rejected)

surely a story like this would not exist if there was SOME truth behind it? wouldn't everyone laugh at a £36 mill fee, rather than spread it?

so, if this is true... what the hell is going on? 36 mill for a 19 year old?

and we're told that we're being ridiculous for not budging on the modric asking price! it's no bloody wonder!
 
Levy has form on taking the piss out of United over transfer fees.

He'll end up getting Fergie to cough up £60 million.
 
Roo said:
probably bullshit, but there's rumours suggesting that united have put in a £36mill bid for Lucas Moura.(also rumours saying it's been rejected)
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...mainly because they were offering to pay £1m a year in order to afford that fee.

Seriously, papers, get used to this idea - Man Utd don't have the capital to splash out £25-30m on players in this day and age.
 
humanbeingincroydon said:
...mainly because they were offering to pay £1m a year in order to afford that fee.

Seriously, papers, get used to this idea - Man Utd don't have the capital to splash out £25-30m on players in this day and age.
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LOL, the "DFS" deal of football!
 
I'm sure it must be a wind-up,but that half wit EC,whatever the rest is reckons Chelsea could beat Spain.he bases it because he thinks(though you had to have a brain to do that) Barca are better than Spain,and Chelsea beat them,and they think we're delusional
 
Just ignore him, Totsfan.
He can't post on here and he desperately needs attention, so he's started posting digs at us on General Chat.
 
Banned that imbecile from our board yesterday. Pretty sure he had another account on here as well.
 
So Luke De Jong's signed for Borussia Munchingjamrag then!

12mill euro's. seems a good price for someone who's only 21, and scored 39 in 76 games for FC Twente.
 
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